Above and Below
by blueeyedgirl519
Summary: Booth never realized how much a flash of light could change his life... He may be down and out for now, but good things will bring him both above and below the surface to find out just how strong he really is.
1. Chapter 1

_April, 30th, 2009 Seeley Booth's apartment._

She slowly opened the door, the apartment was dark, and she wondered if he had gone out. She flicked the switch and waited as her eyes adjusted from the darkness.

"Booth?" She called out, waiting for a reply.

"Watching TV." He said out of habit, wondering if she could even hear it at such a low volume.

"I brought Thai." She said sadly at his words.

He'd only left his apartment three times in the month and a half since, and she was starting to get concerned. As she unpacked the food, it's smell wafted into his living room. She could hear his footsteps, not light as they once had been, as he slowly came to join her. His hair was longer than she'd ever seen it and sticking up at weird angles as if he'd been sleeping. She set the food out on the small table, gathering plates and silverware as he stood a few feet away, listening to her movements. He reached out, feeling for the chair closest to him before he pulled it out and sat down, not saying a word. When she finally let her eyes settle on his, she shuddered. Something about the way they didn't fix on any particular spot anymore always made her heart ache for him.

"We had a set of remains from the early twentieth century come in today, perfect condition. Angela said this will be the easiest reconstruction she's had in ages." Bones said, trying to start a conversation.

"That's great Bones. Did you hear anything from that friend of yours, you know the specialist?" He asked, almost knocking over the bottle of beer she'd put in front of him as he reached for it.

"I expect a response any day now. She's a very busy woman Booth." She said, her voice full of hope.

"Here?" He asked, picking up a container.

"Yes, and there are two more to the left of it." She said, watching his hands groping carefully around the table.

Most of the time when he expected her, he'd leave the dark RayBan's on, not willing to let her see his blank stares.

_(March 11th, 2009, below deck, decommissioned navy vessel.)_

"_Teddy, I can't see..." Booth said, "I looked at the flash, you're okay?" _

"_I think I could use some help..." Teddy replied, blood starting to soak through his uniform._

"_Did we find a way out?" Booth asked frantically searching Teddy for injuries._

"_We always find a way out, Sarge." Teddy answered weakly._

"_I'll be your legs, you be my eyes...which way Corporal?" Booth said, lifting Teddy up._

_Slowly the two made their way to the deck of the old ship, and even when Booth wanted to stop, Teddy continued to push him to go nearer the edge. They sat, waiting for something, neither knowing if help was on the way. Then they heard it, the helicopter getting closer and closer until finally it's noise was right next to them. _

"_Booth...hurry, C'mon. Hurry Booth, come on. Booth come on, HURRY." He heard her yelling for him. _

_He followed the sound of her voice, trying not to let on that anything was wrong, as terrified as he was, he wished that he could see her face as he climbed into the chopper and she threw her arms around him. He closed his eyes as they moved apart from each other, hoping that she didn't notice._

"_Booth, are you alright?" She asked worriedly._

"_I'll be fine Bones." He lied, rubbing at his sightless eyes, "There was an explosion...I looked at the flash...I can't see real good." _

"_Look at me Booth." She said, waiting for him to open his eyes. "Can you see anything at all?" _

"_Uh...no." He said, fear taking hold of his body._

"_It'll be okay Booth..." She said softly pulling him close to her again as they rode away from the massive exploding ship._

"Did you talk to Parker today?" She asked, as she finished the dishes.

"For a few minutes, Rebecca called after his baseball game so he could tell me about his triple." Booth said flatly.

"Is that good?" She asked, not sure what it meant to have a triple.

"Are you serious Bones? That's the next best thing to a home run." he said, chuckling.

"Wow. He's very talented at sports then, isn't he? Is he coming this weekend?" She said, draping the towel over the edge of the sink.

"No. Rebecca thinks it's best for him to keep doing the dinners with me twice a week, until I get a little better at this." He said, his voice angry.

"Oh." She said, wishing she could make all his pain disappear.

He pushed out from the table, picking up his beer and reached out for the wall. Counting silently in his head he shuffled the ten and a half steps till he got to the couch and collapsed into it. She followed, her glass of wine in hand and sat beside him, wondering how he could even hear the baseball game, the volume was so low.

"Which team are you hoping wins?" She asked, knowing that he was rooting for the Phillies.

"Phillies Bones. Same as always." He answered.

"Are they winning?" She questioned, letting her eyes wander around the room.

"They're up seven to five." He said, setting his beer down on the table in front of them.

She stayed for a little while longer, until she couldn't take the silence anymore. She missed his conversation, and his company. It was as though most days he wasn't even in the same room with her, but every once in a while, on a good day, he'd tease her, or joke with her. But those days were few and far between. He was sinking further and further away from her.

_General East Hospital, March 20th 2009_

"Seeley, please calm down. I'm going to have to sedate you if you do not do as we ask." Dr. Ringold said calmly.

"I just want to go home. I want to see my son. And I want these damn bandages off." Booth screamed louder.

"Booth, what's going on in here?" Brennan asked, having heard him screaming from the elevator.

"Bones? Bones is that you? Tell them I just want to go home, I want to see Parker. If they'd just let me take these stupid things off. Please." He pleaded with her, his voice calming some.

"Dr. Brennan, we've tried to explain to him several times about why prematurely removing the bandages could cause permanent damage. The nurse found him three hallways over this time. He needs to rest in order for his injuries to heal." The doctor explained again.

"Booth, it won't be much longer, just let them do their jobs. You do need your rest, try to cooperate." She scolded, a tear running down her cheek, knowing that he'd never see again.

"C'mon Bones. Can't you use your pull to spring me early?" He asked, trying to keep calm.

"Two more days Booth. That's all. Tomorrow they remove the bandages. Just hang out there." She said, her voice shaky.

"Just hang in there Bones. It's just hang in there." He said, feeling her hand cover his.

"Dr. Brennan can I have a word with you please?" Dr. Ringold asked.

"I'll be right back okay." She assured him before joining his doctor in the hallway.

"Dr. Brennan, you know as well as I do that keeping up this charade is unhealthy. Tomorrow when the bandages do come off, and he still has no sight will only make this harder. I wish there had been better results, but we did everything we could. The retina damage was just too great." He told her.

"Do you realize what that means for him doctor? His job, his life, everything he loved, it all involves sight. Taking that away is going to kill him. I just don't have the heart to tell him." She said, more tears streaming down her face.

"Have you considered a transplant?" He asked her.

"I'm speaking with a specialist about it. Unfortunately she is very in demand. He's been put on a waiting list to even have a consultation." She explained.

"He's lucky to have such a persistent friend then isn't he." The doctor said, handing her a tissue.

"He'd be even more lucky if this never happened to him." She said, turning to go back to him.

Stopping in the doorway, she stood stark still, watching his hand tremble as it came closer to his eye. After being treated for minor injuries in the emergency room, he was brought in as a neurological patient. Originally the doctors believed it to be post traumatic stress causing the loss of sight. But after further evaluation, they determined that the retina's in both of his eyes were so severely burned by his close proximity to the explosion. They tried surgery, and even though some of the tissue was repaired, his prognosis wasn't good. Brennan and Angela waited through the three hour surgery, only to listen to the doctor tell them that he would never see again. Now only days later, she'd managed to keep the information from him, until tomorrow when he would find out the truth. His other senses were already starting to take over, and she was sure by the expression on his face that he knew she was there.

"Bones?" He asked, feeling as though someone was watching him.

She didn't answer, she wasn't ready to sit with him and as she wiped at her face with the back of her hand, she watched him sink further into the bed.

"C'mon, I know someone is there, I can feel you watching me." He said again, crossing his arms over his chest.

She was debating on telling him the truth, though something inside of her didn't know how. "I think there's a basketball game on Booth." She finally spoke, her voice trembling.

"How long have you been there Bones?" He said.

"Just a few seconds." she lied.

He waited to hear the chair slide across the floor, and feel the bed move as she leaned in close to him. He could smell her shampoo, her perfume, when she was so close. He would know her scent anywhere he thought silently as he searched for her hand with his.

"Why is your hand wet Bones?" He asked, feeling the moisture.

"What?" She asked, not realizing that the tears she'd wiped away just minutes before hadn't evaporated yet.

"Listen, I might not be able to see you, but I know something is going on. I can hear it in your voice, I can feel it in the tension in the room. I know when you are keeping something from me Bones. What's wrong?" He asked, turning to face her, without letting go of her hand.

"They aren't sure how successful the surgery was." She blurted out, pulling her hand away.

"What do you mean, aren't sure?" he asked, his teeth clenched.

"Dr. Ringold said that even with the tissue they repaired, you probably won't regain your sight." She said, choking back a sob.

"He's wrong. I will. I can't...I mean... I..." He said stammering.

"They did everything they could Booth. So much of your retina's were damaged that it couldn't be repaired." She explained quietly.

"No. No, no, no, no. I'll be able to see. I have to be able to see, right? I can't be blind Bones." He said angrily.

Neither of them said anything for a long time, until finally he spoke "Have you known the whole time?"

"No. The doctor told me yesterday after your CT scan that he was positive. I just didn't know how to tell you Booth. I wanted to, but I also wanted him to be wrong." She said.

"Don't lie to me Bones." He said, his voice cracking.

She didn't respond, as she wondered how he knew her so well. She just wanted this to be over, wanted the whole thing to not have happened in the first place. As she sobbed quietly in the chair beside his bed, she tried to imagine what it would be like to be in his place, and she couldn't.

"I need to be alone Bones." He said almost an hour later, her sobs making his heart break.

"Oh. Okay." She said quietly. "I'll be back tomorrow, Booth. Try and get some rest."

He waited till he couldn't hear her footsteps any longer until he broke down. Tears gushing from the bandages at his eyes. Eyes that would never see her face again, never see Parker throw a perfect spiral, never see anything again. He wondered what the point of Teddy helping him was, if it only ended like this. Why did he look at the flash, he thought as his chest heaved. He didn't know she was still outside the door listening to him, and he never knew that she stayed there till he was asleep.

_General East Hospital, March 21st 2009 10am_

"Seeley, just keep your eyes closed until we adjust the lights." Dr. Ringold instructed.

Brennan watched as they slowly cut the bandages from his face, and when signaled a nurse turned off the overhead light. She was holding her breath, hoping that they'd been wrong.

"Alright, slowly open them. It's going to sting from the ointment." The doctor told him.

He opened his eyes, quickly closing them from the sting, then opened them again. This time tears trickled down his cheeks, his bloodshot eyes not fixing on anything but darkness. His expression never changed, but his fists clenched at his sides, his body tensed at the nothingness before him.

"Can you make out anything Seeley?" Dr. Ringold asked.

"No. There's nothing." He seethed.

"Bring the lights up. There's a possibility that you could have some distinctions." the doctor said.

"Still nothing." Booth said defeatedly.

"Booth, maybe in a few days there'll be something." Brennan tried.

"Face it Bones. I'm blind." He said, moving to get off the bed. "Now I'm going home."

"Seeley, you need to adjust to this. There are things that you will need to learn..." The doctor said watching his patient grope around the room.

"Booth, he's right. You can't just leave. They can teach you how to make this easier." She pleaded, as he grabbed her arms.

"You're taking me home Bones." He said angrily, his unfocused brown eyes staring past her.

"No. You're staying here, at least until you can learn a few things. I'm not going to be the one responsible for you stepping out into traffic, or getting concussed because you tripped and hit your head. I'm not taking you anywhere." She said.

"What makes you think that I have to listen to you?" He screamed at her, still standing in front of her.

"You don't. But I thought we're partners, and partners are there for each other right?" She tried.

"Were partners Bones. In case you haven't noticed, I can't see. Therefore, I am no longer an agent, and no longer your liason to the FBI. Partnership ceased." He said his jaw tight.

"Seeley, you should listen to her. There's no way you can do this without learning how to live like this." Jared said from behind them.

"Like you know what's best for me little brother. I've been cleaning up your messes since you were a baby, what would you know." Booth spat, eyes still open.

"Maybe it's time I'm there for you." He said, trying not to look at his brothers lifeless eyes.

Jared stepped between his brother and Brennan, putting his hands on his brothers shoulders. "Listen Seel, I can't fix this, or make it easier, but I can tell you that unless you listen to them, it's going to be a lot harder than it has too. Just let them help you." He said, wishing he didn't have to.

"So that's it? Everyone is going to turn on me? I can't believe this." Booth said pulling out of Jared's firm grasp.

He turned, tripping on a chair, but before he could go down, Jared caught him. "See."

"You should have left me on that ship." Booth hissed, finally closing his eyes.

It was the last time he'd open them for days, as he descended into his own world of darkness. Through hours of training, he learned to use the white cane, how to count out his steps, to distinguish between items and feel for raised marks on a keyboard and phone. What he didn't learn, and refused to try was braille. He fought with the therapist on why he would never need it, and eventually succeeded.

_Jared Booth's car, March 28th 2009 12pm_

Only one week after the bandages came off, he was finally going home, and he would finally get to visit with his son. Rebecca had kept Parker away most of his time in the hospital, only bringing him in once while the bandages had still been on. In his mind's eye he could imagine Parkers face, his curly blond hair, but he knew he'd never see his son, not visually anyways. He wondered if Parker would be uncomfortable around him now, if he'd still be able to take care of him. All those things ran through his mind on the ride home from the hospital with Jared.

"Seeley, you alright?" Jared asked, bringing the car to a stop at a red light.

"Just perfect." Booth answered angrily.

"You didn't have to rush this you know. They wanted you to stay another ten days, maybe feel a little more comfortable going out into the world. I don't know why you always have to be so pigheaded." Jared said as they started moving again.

"I'm perfectly capable of being at my own home Jar. I don't need more therapy, I need my sight back." Booth answered, adjusting the ray bans Bones had brought him only two days after he found out.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jared said.

"Shoot little brother."

"Why isn't Tempe bringing you home, after all those days in there and she was there for it all, you asked me? I don't understand you Seeley." Jared said quizically.

"It's not like we're dating Jared. I thought you knew that. She's my...was my partner and while I appreciate all that she did for me, keeping me company, sitting with me, I don't think I could take another second of the silence." Booth said honestly.

"You don't think that you had anything to do with the silence? No not the incredible Seeley Booth. No way." Jared mocked.

"Do you know what it's like to be in this position? NO! You didn't hear her crying Jar, you didn't wish every second that you could just look into her eyes and tell her everything was going to be okay. But I can't do that. I can't even see her face. I'm not the person I was before Jared. I'll never be that person again. And I can't do that to her..." Booth said, fighting back the anger.

"You really don't know how stubborn you are do you... that woman sat in there with you, through the silence, through the tantrums, through the surgery, through the agonizing hours when she thought she'd lost you, and you still push her away. She's more than your partner, and she has been for a long time Seel. You've just been to afraid to see it..." Jared said realizing what the last words meant.

"Now it's too late, I'll never get the chance to see it..." Booth said and turned his face towards the window.

"I'm sorry Seeley, I didn't mean it like that..." Jared tried, but the older Booth had ended the conversation.

On top of thinking about Parker, now he was thinking about Bones. How long he'd waited for things to be heading in the right direction, and now, it was done. His chance with her was gone. He imagined her green eyes filled with sadness every time she'd cried by his bed, not thinking he was awake, and how it broke his heart, when just the night before she'd leaned in and kissed his forehead and one of her tears dripped onto his cheek.

"Twelve steps up, three steps forward and twelve more steps up, then ten steps to your door." Jared said softly at Booth's side as they stood at the bottom step.

He grabbed the railing, probably the first time he'd ever done it coming into his building and awkwardly ascended the steps until he was at his door. Pulling out his key, marked with one raised bump so he would know it was for the door he inserted it and pushed the door open. The smells of his things overwhelmed him as he knocked into the wall, not waiting for Jared's commentary.

"We have to do a walkthrough. Wait." Jared said, nervously watching his older brother fumbling around.

"Jared, I've lived here for six years, I think I know it by now." Booth said rubbing his elbow.

"That doesn't mean you can do it blind Seel." Jared said firmly.

"Fine, let's get this over with, then you can go." Booth said viciously.

Jared walked him through the apartment, counting out steps, and watching as his brother felt around, arms out, through every room.

"Angela said she'd be over tomorrow to go through your clothes and personal items with you. There's beer in the fridge, top shelf, right hand side. And there are frozen dinners in the freezer until you can go shopping. Just nuke them for four minutes. I've marked the buttons so you know which to press." Jared said before leaving.

"Thanks. I'll be fine. If I need anything I'll call." Booth said sinking into his couch.

"You don't want me to stay, we could catch a baseball game on TV?" Jared asked, nervously.

"Go. I'm okay, really. I'll talk to you tomorrow Jared." Booth said, pulling the sunglasses off, and waiting to hear his brother's breath catch.

Jared didn't flinch, he'd realized that Seeley was purposely trying to get under his skin so he would leave, and when he caught sight of his brothers lifeless eyes he looked away. "See you later then." he said and closed the door behind him. Booth found the silence welcoming and relaxing. No beeping machines, no overhead speakers, just silence. He stretched out onto his couch and lie there, wondering what he was going to do next. Days and nights were lost on him now, no sunshine in his eyes, no full moon to brighten the night, just darkness, endless black.

_Seeley Booth's apartment, April 13th, 2009 5pm_

"Daddy!" Parker yelled when he opened the door.

"Hey little man. How was school today?" Booth asked his son, picking him up and hugging him.

"Boring, but we played basketball at recess, so that was fun." Parker said when his feet hit the floor.

"Did you make any baskets?" Booth asked him, knowing Rebecca was still in the doorway.

"Three, but all from really close to the hoop." Parker answered, Booth hearing his footsteps go towards the living room.

"That's awesome Park." Booth called out, "Thanks Beccs. When are you coming to pick him up?" he said, turning towards her.

"I'll be back in two hours, uh, seven. Are you sure you'll be okay with him?" She questioned.

"Rebecca, we'll be fine. We've been fine every time you've brought him over so far. Really. If we need anything Jared is still here and we could always call you." He said, trying to hide his irritation.

"I'll see you in a little bit Kiddo." She yelled past Booth.

"Bye mom." He yelled.

Booth waited to hear her footsteps move away from the door and then closed it. He hated that she didn't feel comfortable leaving his son with him, but he understood. It wasn't like he could chase after him anymore, or see where he got hurt if he would. He'd called Jared the last time Parker was over, to help him cook dinner, and it had eased Rebecca's mind some, knowing that. He could hear them talking in the living room, over the noise from the baseball game on the TV, and just listened.

"Remember bud, you can't move anything okay?" he heard Jared whisper.

"I know. But when are daddy's eyes gonna get better?" Parker whispered back, breaking Booth's heart.

"They might not. Didn't mom explain that to you Parker?" Jared asked him.

"Yeah, but mom is always so dramatic." Parker answered, making Booth chuckle to himself.

"Well, just cause he can't see doesn't mean that he can't still do things with you, you know that right?" Jared added.

"I know Uncle Jared. But mom says I can't come for the weekends for awhile. How come?" Parker asked quietly.

"Your dad is still getting used to things. You know like when you get a new pair of shoes, how sometimes they make your feet hurt for the first few times you wear them, until you break them in? It's kind of like that." Jared said, trying to explain it so he would understand.

"Alright, who's winning that game?" Booth said appearing in the doorway.

"It's just pre-season dad." Parker said loudly.

"Yeah, well I'd still like to know who's winning, ya know." He joked.

"Cubs, five to three." Jared answered.

"Well, you ready for some pizza?" Booth asked them.

"Can we get mushrooms?" Parker asked, getting up and walking to his father.

"Sure little man, Jared any requests?" Booth asked.

"I eat anything after K-rations, you know how it is." Jared smirked.

"Ok, so three medium pizza's two with pepperoni and one with mushrooms." Booth said reaching for the phone, but going a little to far and knocking it off the wall.

"Here daddy." Parker said, placing the phone in his dad's hand.

"Thanks bud." Booth said, a little embarrassed at his lack of coordination.

Booth ordered the pizza and they waited together on the couch for the food to arrive while Jared and Parker raced on the playstation. As much as he wanted Parker around, sometimes he preferred the silence, the emptiness that consumed him whenever no one could see him smashing into things, or dropping things. He didn't want this for his son, having to watch his father fumble, unable to work, unable to take him out without the chance of getting lost. No, days alone were much easier.


	2. Chapter 2

_Don't own them, I'm not that good!  
_

_May 8th, 2009 Seeley Booth's apartment_

Some days it was as though everything was blasting, the phone, the radio from next door, the tv, even sounds he took for granted seemed to assail him as he shuffled through his apartment. Everyday he woke to the sound of Jared in the shower, getting ready for the day, clanging his toothbrush against the side of the sink, or dropping his razor. Seeley knew that his little brother did it on purpose, knowing that he could hear him, and waking him without having to confront him. Two weeks into their new living arrangement and already he was wondering if he'd made a mistake. Booth knew he couldn't do this alone right now though, he'd nearly bled to death one morning while he attempted to shave, and a few days before that he left a towel to close to the stove and it caught fire. So many things that he never thought twice about before, he was now having to stop and feel for things, or try to remember where he put something. Most days he had a headache before noon, and was passed out drunk by five. Jared would come home and force him to eat, try to make small talk before he slammed his bedroom door in his face.

"Jared do you have to be so damn loud in the morning?" Seeley called out from his bed.

"Sorry, I didn't even notice I was being loud, sorry bro." Jared said, smirking to himself.

"Even though I can't see you, I know you're doing it on purpose...stop making that face." He yelled.

"How do you even know I'm making a face Seel?" Jared asked, appearing in his brothers door.

"I don't have to see you to hear the tone of your voice dipshit. And if you don't stop this crap Jar, I'm going to have to kick you out." Seeley said angrily.

"You wouldn't do that though. Because the minute I'm gone from here, Rebecca pulls the plug on you seeing Parker. Which I'm surprised she hasn't yet, the way you've been drinking. You might not think that we know, what you do when we aren't here, but trust me big brother, I know you. If you could get in a cab and go to atlantic city you'd be there, but since you can't even see to know if you win or not, you drink. You're turning into dad." Jared said, knowing that he'd offended his brother with the dad comment.

Seeley said nothing, as he tried to focus on where exactly his little brother was standing, knowing that he could charge him for that remark. There was nothing slow about the tackle...or easy. He slammed his shoulder into his brother something fierce, taking them both down to the floor.

"What are you trying to do Seel?" Jared asked struggling to push his brother off of him.

"Compare me to our father again, how dare you, I am not like him. I could never be like him. You don't know. You aren't blind." Seeley yelled, inches from his brother's face as his fists started in on the younger man's body.

"Seeley, get off." Jared tried, feeling at least one of his ribs crack with the force of his older brother's fist.

"Why? Everyone knows you never look at the flash...you look away, you aren't even supposed to be that close to a blast. But where could I have gone? There was nowhere to go, and I looked right at it. Why?" He said over and over until finally Jared was able to catch his fists.

"I don't know Seeley. I don't know why this happened. I don't know why it happened to you...but it doesn't mean you can't live your life...what about Tempe? Parker? Are you just going to drown yourself away from them? They need you, they care about you, Parker loves you so much, but you don't even allow yourself to know it. You're too stuck inside your own head Seel. You have to talk to someone." Jared said, still pinned by his brother's weight, watching as tears formed at the corners of his useless eyes.

Seeley stood without another word, using his toes to navigate around his brother lying on the floor. His face was still wet when Jared finally came out dressed for his day, to find him sitting on the couch, in silence.

"I want to go back and learn more." Seeley said flatly.

"Are you serious about it?" Jared asked, wondering what changed his mind.

"Yes. And I need you to set up an appointment with a head shrinker too. I can't lose my son." He said honestly for the first time.

"I will do those things under one condition." Jared offered.

"What's that? Because I know that I don't owe you anything yet." Seeley said almost laughing.

"Next time you want to have a go at me, we go to the ring, lace up the gloves, and see who wins. Bare fists are too much for me, especially since you out weigh me by fifty or sixty pounds. Ya cracked one of my ribs before." Jared said wincing at his sore left side.

"Did you wrap it up?" Seeley asked, turning in the direction of his brother.

"Yeah, lucky for me you keep the first aid kit pretty stocked." He laughed.

"You'll call today, right?" Seeley asked before Jared left.

"Don't worry I won't forget. You gonna be coherant when I get home? I was thinking maybe we could meet up with your squints tonight, don't they go to the diner?" Jared said, hoping that he'd take him up on the offer.

"I don't know...maybe." Seeley said, cringing at the thought of being out with everyone at once.

"You know if you need anything to call..." Jared said quietly before shutting the door.

Seeley sat there for some time before he decided that maybe he would try and meet up with everyone tonight. He missed them, despite all the brain talk, they were his friends, the people he used to rely on to make him laugh throughout the day, he missed Brennan most though. He'd done a good job of keeping her at arms length lately, making sure to stay quiet when she was over, even with her aversion for talking about things, he never had known anyone quite so afraid of silence. His tactic to distance himself from her was working, but only to his dismay.

He spent the rest of the day somewhat like he had the last month, except for the drinking, he listened to the news, and some of the daytime game shows. Instead of staying in his sweats though, around four he dragged himself into the shower, where he let the steam rise in the room as he remembered a scene from a few days before everything changed.

"_You're gonna make me fall!" Brennan had said, as he led her around the rink._

"_I'm never gonna make you fall, I'm always here..." I'd answered truthfully._

The look on her face that night had been enough to get him through the ordeal of getting kidnapped, they were on their way to something, and then he was taken from her. Slamming his fists into the shower wall he cursed the gravedigger, not only was his sight stripped from him, but the chance of something with her was gone now too. How could he protect her now, he couldn't even live on his own, let alone take care of another person. Stepping out of the shower he wrapped a towel around himself and felt for the sink. He searched the shelf next to him for his hair gel, something he could thank Angela for, even though he didn't when she was there. His hair was long now, and he squeezed a little more than he normally would out into his hand and rubbing his hands together he pulled them through his hair, hoping to achieve the same look he always had. Next up was shaving, something he had gotten better at, even though he went as long as he could stand before he attempted it. Two nicks later he headed out to get dressed, again thanking Angela silently as he felt for his dark blue t-shirt in the drawer of many, and finally when he felt it, he carefully pulled it out and over his head, smoothing it out over his chest. Picking a random pair of jeans, and his brown shoes he headed for the sofa to wait for Jared.

"Honey I'm home..." Jared teased, surprised to see his normally drunk brother waiting in something other than sweats.

"Yeah, yeah... did you make the calls?" Seeley asked.

"I said I would, and I did. Who are you all dressed up for?" Jared asked.

"No one, just felt like getting out of the house some... They'll be at the lab until six, I'd like to go there first if you can get ready in time." Seeley said, his face looking anxious, at the thought of seeing Bones.

"I'll be done in ten. Relax Seel." Jared said, knowing that it had been almost two weeks since he'd talked to her due to his stubbornness.

Before they left the apartment, Seeley grabbed the white cane from the table, and his black leather jacket. He could make it to the street without the cane, but once outside the noise overwhelmed him, and it took him a while to gain his bearings. Jared stayed close, patiently waiting for his brother to be ready to go.

"You okay Seel?" Jared asked after almost five minutes.

"Yeah, it's almost rush hour, and the noise is a lot to take in. Maybe we should drive?" He answered, cane still folded in his hand.

"We'll get a cab, is that cool?" Jared asked him, moving closer to the street to hail one.

"Yeah...Jared?" Seeley asked, not sensing him close anymore.

"Right here man, I ain't gonna get us a cab from way back there." He shouted over the traffic.

Seeley didn't answer, he just took three steps forward, knowing that he had at least two more till the curb. He heard the cab door open, and Jared tell the cabbie where they were going, before Jared tapped his arm for him to follow.

"Duck, Seel." Jared teased.

They stayed quiet the whole ride, this was the farthest he'd gone in weeks, and he could feel the anxiety setting in, the farther away from home he got.

"Pay the man little brother..." Seeley said as he got out first, and extended his cane, thinking to himself, that it had to be done sooner or later.

"Seeley wait for me." Jared said, waiting for his change from the cabbie, his brother already near the door. "How do you even know what entrance we're by?"

"Easy, front entrance has cobblestone, back is concrete, side is nearer to the garden. We're in the front." Seeley answered grinning at his little brother.

Hearing the doors slide open, he entered, knowing that he had to make a left and then a right before he'd reach the doors to the lab. His cane tapped, as he counted the steps, he wouldn't use it next time. Forty five in all to reach the lab doors, he filed as he waited for them to slide open as well. He heard a few intakes of breath, as he walked through, heading straight for the platform, he could hear Hodgins and Angela as soon as he entered. His cane tapped the bottom step, Jared behind him and he started up the steps.

"Booth, wait..." Hodgins yelled, running for the card swiper.

"Relax bug man, I know where to stop." Booth said, grinning at him as he heard the beep.

"She isn't here sweetie..." Angela said quietly, her hand resting on my arm.

"Oh, well, Jared and I were wondering if you all would like to grab some dinner with us? Maybe head to the diner, you know, like we used too?" Seeley asked, hearing heels coming towards them.

"Seeley Booth, I know you are not contaminating my body." Caroline said brashly.

"Miss Julian, you know me better than that. How are you Cherie?" He asked her.

"Now now, sugar, you know I'm always on top. What about you... haven't seen you around, or heard these fools talking about you lately, what did you do to get dropped like a hot potato?" She asked.

"I don't know Caroline, I don't know. Maybe I disappeared for a while..." He answered, wondering where Bones was.

"Well it's about time you get your butt back down here. I can't be left unamused for long you know that, Cherie." Miss Julian said, her heels clicking away from them.

"Where is she Ange? Is there a case?" He asked, turning to Angela.

"I don't know Booth, sometimes she just heads out. She'll be back soon though, Cam gets on her case when she's gone for more than a few hours. You can hang out in her office if you want..." Angela said.

"Yeah I think I will Ange, hey, thanks again for coming by before and helping me out. It really does make a difference..." He said, turning to leave the platform.

"I'm gonna hang out here Seeley. Cam is on her way over." Jared said, not wanting to invade Tempe's office.

"I know, invite her too." He said after he descended the steps.

The doors swooshed closed behind him, his cane connecting with the couch, and then the table to his right, her smell filling his nostrils. Trying to picture it in his mind, the artwork on the walls, the papers on the desk, the sculpture on the table, the two frames behind her desk, holding a picture of her and her mother, and another holding her soon to be nieces. It was as though he had just been here yesterday, the images in his mind so vivid as he sat down on the couch, folding the cane onto his lap. He sat there, reminiscing about all the times they'd brainstormed on that couch, or all the times he'd covered her up when she had stayed late working on a case and fallen asleep. He missed her company so much, but he didn't know how to tell her that, he didn't know how to act around her anymore. His role as the protector, the strong male, wasn't there for him anymore. That's why he'd kept her at arms length all this time, he didn't know how to not be her protector, and he didn't know what he was to her anymore. With his blindness, his life was turned upside down, taking her with it. And he wondered if he'd ever get back to that place with her again, if he'd ever feel comfortable in his own skin again. He heard the doors slide open just then, and he could smell her as her perfume wafted into the room. Staying quiet, he wondered how long it would take her to notice him there.

Nearly five minutes had passed, him listening to her fingers dance over the keys, before he couldn't take it any more. "Bones..." he said quietly.

"Booth, how long have you been in here?" She asked, startled, looking him over from head to toe, realizing that he looked good, better than she'd seen him in weeks.

"A while. Ange told me you were out, but you'd be back soon, so I figured I'd wait for you. Were you working a case?" he asked, leaning forward on his seat.

"Uh, no. I was just out." She hesitated.

"Did you already get dinner, or do you want to come with us to the diner?" He asked her, wishing he could see her face, and what it would tell him, what she was trying to keep from him.

"That sounds nice, is that why Jared is here too? He was up on the platform when I came in." She said, sounding unsure of herself for the first time in a long time.

"What's up Bones? You sound different? Is everything okay?" He asked her, standing and moving towards the chair opposite her, not sure how far he was until he stumbled into it.

"Still working things out..." He said, flashing her a thousand watt smile.

"I tried calling your apartment several times Booth, I was worried about you..." She said, her voice shaky.

"I've been having a hard time Bones, I'm not going to lie to you, but it's no excuse. I've decided to get counseling... and I'm checking into rehab for another fifteen days. I can't live like this, I can't just hide out in my apartment, I need more than that... I might not ever be an agent again, but it doesn't mean I can't be productive, or that I can't be around the people I love." he said honestly, leaning over her desk, "I need to be able to take care of my son, and right now, I have to depend on my brother for that, because I was too stubborn to take the help when I had the chance. And I need to have my friends around me, I don't know what I thought I would accomplish pushing everyone away..."

"It's the alpha male response Booth, and you will always be the alpha male. Nothing will change that. But you're right, you shouldn't have pushed everyone away, and you need to learn how to deal with this." was all she said, but he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"Bones... I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you..." he said pushing his glasses up over his hair, so he could metaphorically speaking look her in the eyes.

She knew that by taking his glasses off, he was serious, that he meant what he said. What she wasn't ready for was the expression on his face, it looked to her like he had lost something he knew he'd never get back. His chocolate brown eyes, gazed past her, and he remained quiet, his hands fidgeting with the cane he held, until finally she reached across her desk, and placed her hands over his. "You have to let me in sometimes. I can't read your mind, I don't have the required skill set for that. You can't push me away anymore." She finished, longing for the days where conversation between them was lighter, their banter focused on a case, not on their personal lives.

"I won't Bones. I won't..." he answered, hearing the strain in her voice.

"Hey, you guys gonna sit in here all night or what, let's go, we're starved." Hodgins said bursting into her office.

Booth's hands flew to his glasses, pulling them back down over his eyes. "We'll be right there." He growled.

She watched Booth's demeanor change with the interruption, his face hardening as he stood, unfolding the cane. His broad shoulders tense, as his right hand extended the cane in front of him, "Are you ready to go Bones?" He asked.

"I just need to grab my coat." Brennan answered, still unable to take her eyes off of him.

He waited, listening to her movements as she shrugged on her coat, and threw her purse over her shoulder. She moved to his side, her arm pressed against his left, letting him know she was there, and instantly felt him relax.

Jared could see the relief on his brothers face, as could Angela, who had begun to give up on the pair she so desperately wanted together. Even with Bones at his side, he couldn't deny the change in mood he felt when they entered the lab from her office.

"Ange, don't get excited yet." Seeley whispered to Angela as they passed her.

"Just glad to have you around again sweetie." Angela answered back.

On the way, Booth rode with Bones, the other four in Hodgins suv. Leaving them open for more conversation.

"What did you mean when you told Angela not to get excited yet?" Brennan asked him at a red light.

"Sometimes I wonder how you get through life, missing the clues right in front of you bones. I'm blind and I could tell by the mood in the room that the sight of us together makes them happier. It makes things right. You know that, you always have. We are the center, and the center must hold." He told her still facing forward.

"How do you it, Booth, you've always been this person who can read people, who can relate, and even with this setback you can still do that. It's something I'll never be able to do..." She said, in awe of him.

"I think sometimes you see it, but you try to rationalize things, and then you lose something in the translation... it's why we fit together so well, Bones." He told her, turning his head slightly towards her.

"Did you get the message I left you the other day? About the specialist?" She said changing the subject quickly.

"Yeah... I'll go to see her Bones, but I don't want to get my hopes up." He answered, playing with the sunglasses on his face.

"I know..." She said quietly, wishing they weren't even having this conversation.

They rode in silence till they arrived at the diner, neither one ready to admit their feelings, or their fears.


	3. Chapter 3

_Still don't own them..._

_East University Hospital June 15th, 2009_

"Do you understand the options I've presented to you Mr. Booth?" Dr. Hypond asked, looking from her new patient to his friend.

"Yeah, I mean, what are the odds, percentage wise that I could get my sight back?" Booth asked quietly.

"With either of the surgeries, your chances increase with proper recovery, but I would guess the percentage to be about 35 in your favor, for either. Like I said Mr. Booth, Tempe, I've done at least fifty of these this year, and each case is different. I can't guarantee that your sight will return, or that it will return they way it was before..." She stated cooly.

"Lisa, do you think that he's a good candidate?" Bones asked, hopeful.

"I do. I believe that I can give you something back, even if it's very little, it would be better than complete darkness." Dr. Hypond said, her voice soft.

"When can we schedule it?" Booth said.

"I have a free schedule on friday, the 19th. If you would be ready that soon." She answered.

"Booth, do you want to think this over?" Bones asked him.

"No. Friday is great. The sooner the better Bones. Even if I don't get a hundred percent back, it can't be worse than this... Dr. Hypond, friday it is." Booth said, extending his hand.

"I'll expect you to be admitted Thursday evening, we'll monitor you overnight, and if all looks well, the surgery will be done at seven am friday. Any other questions?" The doctor asked.

"No, not that I can think of, but if I do I'll give you a call. Thanks Doc. We'll see you thursday night." Booth said, pushing his chair back to leave.

"I'll meet you in the hall Booth, I'd like to talk to Lisa for a moment." Bones said, her voice full of concern.

"Tempe, I know I can make this better for him, why are you so skeptical..." Lisa asked her when Booth was gone from the room.

"I know him, I know how much it took for him to even come this far Lis...if this doesn't work, I can't imagine what that will do to him. And just because he might get something, he doesn't know how difficult it could be to try and live with that... I just don't want to see him hurt anymore..." Brennan said.

"Listen, if I go in, and don't think that the return would be signifigant, I'll close him up, but if I see that I can make a difference for him I will Tempe...what is it with this guy, I've never seen you like this before." Lisa asked her.

"He's my partner, that's all. One of my friends." Bones answered, her cheeks hot.

"If you say so Tempe, but the way you look at him, the way you care for him, I'd guess otherwise. Now don't leave him waiting too long. I'll see you both on Thursday." Lisa said, walking her to the door.

"Jeez Bones, it took you long enough." Booth joked, smelling her perfume as she got closer.

"I was just catching up with my old friend. Is that such a terrible thing Booth?" Bones said.

"If that's what you want to call it... I'm tougher than you think Bones...it just takes me longer to get through things sometimes..." He said, having heard most of the conversation.

"How, I mean, did you hear us? You couldn't have..." Bones questioned, as they walked, her arm pressed against his, as they'd become used to doing.

He didn't answer her, it wasn't the first time he'd overheard a conversation of hers. And it wouldn't be the last. He wished that she knew what he felt for her, that he could just tell her. But life hadn't worked out that way for him, all the time he danced around her, leaving hints here or there, the looks across the table she gave back, the few times where he felt he was getting somewhere, all to be taken away. Now though, maybe he'd have the chance again...maybe he didn't need to see to be with her. Her words, actions and feelings had been changing over the last couple of weeks, he could tell.

"Take them off Booth. It doesn't bother me..." Bones asked, watching him lift the glasses he rarely took off, to rub his nose.

"Nah." He answered, in his mind he wondered what his eyes looked like, and could only imagine them rolling around in his head like pinballs.

"They don't look any different than they did before Booth." She tried, wishing that he didn't feel uncomfortable in front of her.

"Soon maybe we won't have to think about it." He said, giving in and removing them, folding them and hanging them from his collar as she drove out of the parking garage.

She didn't respond when he said that, her brain taking over and trying to rationalize the odds of recovery. She wanted him to be whole more than she'd ever wanted anything, and knowing the science wasn't helping her mind find peace. It wasn't that she didn't love him, it was that maybe she loved him too much, and even after the stay in rehab, and the counseling he'd gone through in the last month, she couldn't stand him hurting, even if he did act more normal than he did at first. She could care less if he could see or not, it didn't matter to her, he was still the man she loved, the only person who made her feel safe, the person she was meant to be with, even if he didn't know it. The weeks they'd spent apart after he lost his sight, were terrible for her, she felt like part of her was missing. And then one day out of nowhere, there he was in her office, looking as close to her Booth as she'd seen in months. After that day, she made sure that she didn't let him push her away, no matter how frustrated he got during his therapy. Even though they weren't working together, they made sure to get together one way or another.

"Bones, are you okay? You're too quiet." He asked, wondering what she was thinking.

"Yeah, I was thinking about this case... I think Hodgins might have missed something." She said, lying through her teeth.

"Oh, really? He's usually pretty precise Bones. What do you think he missed?" he asked.

"Something just doesn't add up." She said, thanking god that he couldn't see her face.

"What's really on your mind Bones... I can hear it in your voice..." He said, reaching out his hand toward her arm.

"We're almost at the lab Booth... do you want me to drop you off first?" She said trying to change the subject.

"Just drop me off..." He said in a huff, anger all over his face.

Neither said another word even as he got out of her car, but before he shut the door, he turned back to her, something that he would have done back when he could see her. "Bones... I thought you didn't want me to push you away, maybe you should take your own advice." He said fiercely and then slammed the door.

She watched him slowly enter his building, his hands searching for the door handle, and then he disappeared. Everything in her wanted to run in after him, but her rational side made her question if the threat of surgery was what heightened her feelings. She was torn and in agony when she made it back to the lab, her face flushed as she hurried straight to her office. She didn't know how much longer she could keep her feelings from him.

He slammed the apartment door, and counted out the steps to his refridgerator, he grabbed a beer, and headed to his couch to sulk. He couldn't believe her stubbornness. He was the one faced with the possibility of something, or nothing at all, and here she was pushing him away, just when he needed her most. Four beers later, he was asleep, sprawled out on his couch, head resting on the arm. He didn't hear her come in, or notice her watching him as he slept. Her hand softly brushed his cheek, and even then he didn't stir, not until she rested her palm against that same cheek did he wake.

"Who's there..." He yelled, grabbing defensively at the hand on his face, "Bones?" He asked, recognizing her scent, and the soft skin of her hand.

"Despite what you might think Booth, I don't like seeing you suffer..." She said, her voice sad.

"I know that Bones. But why is that relevant?" he asked her, rubbing his hand over his face.

"I don't believe that you don't know, that you haven't known for a while..." She said, losing her nerve.

"Are you drunk Bones? You aren't making any sense." he said, reaching out for her face with his hand, surprised to find it damp, was she crying?

"I care about you Booth... I have for a long time. I thought... I ... I thought you felt the same way, but maybe I was wrong..." She said trying to pull away from him.

Instead of answering her, he pulled her into him, holding her tight against his chest. All this time, all that waiting, and finally here she was, making the first move.

"Shhh... Bones I'm here, don't cry..." He tried to soothe her sobs, unsure if they came from her being scared or, unsure.

His hand continued to rub her back until finally she started to calm down, his shirt wet from her tears.

"Bones, why are you so upset?" He asked, wishing with everything inside him that he could look into her eyes.

"I,,, I've never felt this for anyone else Booth... it scares me." She said her chest still heaving some.

"It's okay Bones. I'm not going anywhere, you can relax. I wish you knew how long I've been waiting for you to catch up..." He said, his hands on her face, gently running his fingers across it, like they taught him in rehab.

"I know...I've known for a while now, but after you lost your sight I thought I was wrong..." she said honestly, pulling away from him and started pacing around his living room.

He shuddered, knowing that he'd pushed her away, and it had hurt her. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just needed time to get through this Bones...It was killing me not being around you, not having you around. But I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't want you to know that I was weak..." He said, getting irritated at her continued pacing.

"I tried to be there for you, and even then, you kept me away, why couldn't you let me in if you cared for me so much? I don't know much about relationships, but I know there needs to be give and take Booth." She said, slowing her pace.

"Could you stop for a second Bones, your making me dizzy." He growled, "Do you think I don't know that, that I don't regret those weeks I kept you at arms length? I do, I wish I could go back and change my actions, but I can't, I can only move forward, and learn from my mistakes...I need you in my life, this doesn't change that..." He pleaded, pointing to his eyes, that were open, but still only staring past her.

She sat next to him on the couch once again, taking his face in her hands, and leaning forward, pressing her lips to his. Neither one, moved to break the kiss, filled with passion and longing.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thursday, June 18th 9am._

"Shit, damnit." He cursed, his shin throbbing after making contact with the corner of the coffee table as he got up from his couch.

He was nervous, his stomach flipping and churning, tomorrow was the day he'd been waiting for, and three days ago, she kissed him right here on this couch. He never imagined it happening like that, not with her making the first move, not without being able to see her face as it happened. He always thought he'd tip her back during a guy hug and softly kiss her lips, or reach lovingly across the table, take her face in his hands and bring her to him, or look up at her as they sat on the steps of the memorial and their lips would meet. Instead it was her hands pulling his face to hers, her lips finding his as his brain fought to keep up, as they passionately kissed for what seemed an eternity to him.

Even after it happened, he still wondered if it was reality, she was making excuses for why she had to go, and then she was gone, his door closing softly. It wasn't the reaction he'd hoped for so many times, or the way it normally played out in his mind, but he took it for what it was, her way of telling him she cared about him. His mind had been racing since that night, and with his surgery looming overhead, it was one more thing he didn't really need to worry about. But finding himself alone in his apartment while Jared was at work, and having not heard from her since he heard his door close, he could do nothing but think about it. It was the cause for his sudden clumsiness, he told himself, as he rubbed his shin. He didn't have long before he was to be admitted to the hospital, and as he shuffled through his bathroom and bedroom gathering up what he would need for the two week stay, he couldn't help but let himself become excited. He had so much riding on this surgery, the possibility that he might be able to see again, possibly being able to work again, and her.

By four thirty thursday afternoon his bag was packed, and he was waiting for Jared to get home. What he didn't know was that she was more nervous than he was, more reserved, knowing that the chances of his gaining something back was limited. And as she shutdown her computer, getting ready to leave, she mentally ran through the other night with him. How easy it had been to let herself be held by him, and then finally the way she moved in and kissed him. As much as she'd wanted to do it, and as much as she could tell he was open to it, it still felt awkward to her now. Even as it happened, her mind raced to find a way to get out of his place, to get as far away from him as possible. And when she pulled away from him, despite her body's ache to stay, she stammered out a lame excuse and before she knew it she was in her car, wondering how she let herself do what she did. But at the same time, somewhere deep inside she knew it was right, it was time to finally let him know that she did share the feelings that he once tried so hard to hide from her. Now though she didn't know what he expected from her, if anything, and it scared her. Just as she ran through all these thoughts in her mind, she was interrupted by Jared entering her office.

"Jared what are you doing here? Is Booth okay?" She asked, nervously.

"He's fine...I came to see how you were doing Tempe..." he said smoothly.

"What would make you think I was anything but fine Jared?" She shot at him.

"Maybe the smile that's been on his face for the last few days, or the way you haven't been around all of a sudden...what happened?" He asked her.

"I think that it's between Booth and I if you don't mind." She said cooly, not wanting to discuss this with him.

"If you say so Tempe, but I'll figure it out on my own, or I'll just ask him. You are going to be there tonight right, at the hospital?" He asked, his cockiness fading some.

"I said I would be there, tonight and tomorrow, why would I just not show up?" She said, irritated at his inference that she would just disappear from his life when things got tough.

"I just don't want to have to tell him otherwise, especially when he depends on you Tempe." Jared said, turning to leave.

She didn't even bother to respond, even if she hadn't talked to him in a few days, it didn't mean she was going to leave him when he needed her most. She'd taken friday off from work, so that she could be there during the surgery, and to be there for him. She knew that it was going to be hard for him the first few days after, he'd want to know right away if there was a change, but it was going to be at least five days before his bandages would come off, and it was going to be a rough time. She knew more than anyone just how stubborn he was, and how hard it would be to keep him in check for five days. As she loaded her laptop into her bag, and grabbed her coat to head home so she could then meet him at the hospital at seven.

"What took you so long getting home?" Booth asked, as Jared and Parker entered the apartment.

"I had to finish up some paperwork since I won't be in tomorrow, jeez." Jared said not mentioning his stop at the Jeffersonian.

"Hey little man! How was school?" Booth asked his son, hearing the child's backpack hit the floor with a thud.

"Dad, really, every time you ask me that I answer the same way...boring! Where are we going to eat?" Parker asked, knowing that they weren't getting pizza tonight.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could pick Bones up, and all go to the diner, what do you think bud?" Booth asked, Jared stopping on his way to change out of his uniform at the mention of her.

"Yeah, I like it when we hang out with her dad, she knows everything." He said excitedly.

"Seeley, did you ask her if she was free?" Jared yelled from the other room.

"No, I was going to surprise her..." Booth said, as though barging in on her was no big deal.

"Dad, I made this cool project in school yesterday and I want you to see it...I'll be right back." Parker said rushing from his father's side to his bag.

Booth flinched, knowing he couldn't see whatever it was that his son had to show him, but was surprised as his sons little hands grabbed his hand and moved it towards whatever he had on the table in front of him.

"Here daddy, you can use your hands to see it." Parker said, guiding his father's hand over the jumbled mass of paper and glue, and buttons.

"Wow this is something Parks, how long did it take you to do this?" Booth asked, still shocked at his son's thoughtfulness.

"Just one day... Mike didn't understand what it was, but I told him I used the buttons and the glue so my dad could see it too...Mrs. Jouth said it was real nice. Are you gonna hang it up daddy?" Parker asked.

"Uncle Jared will hang it up later when he comes home okay. Thank you little man I love it." Booth said pulling his son close into a hug.

The three of them piled into Jared's car, booth's bag in the trunk reminding them of what tomorrow meant. Booth knew that Parker was aware that he was having surgery, and that he'd be in the hospital for a while, but in his childish mind it didn't register how much could change. He was lucky that he even got to spend this time with his son before going in, but after reasoning with Rebecca for more than an hour she finally gave in. His argument that it would be a while before he could come visit had eventually worn her down, despite her misgivings.

"Can you pull up to the front of the building Jar?" Booth asked.

"Sure thing bro, you two just gonna run up and get her?" Jared asked.

"Yep. It shouldn't be that long." Booth said, smiling.

The car came to a stop and Booth and Parker emerged, greeting the doorman with smiles, Parker somewhat leading his father through the door and to the elevator.

"Which button do I press dad?" Parker asked as the entered the elevator.

"Number four buddy. Can you reach it?" Booth asked, ready to feel his way over the braille.

"I got it dad. Can you tell which one it is?" Parker asked curious.

"Yep, it's this one right?" Booth said, feeling the small bumps under his finger.

"That's so cool dad." Parker said amazed that even though he couldn't see he knew exactly which buttons to press, or what door to go to.

Booth didn't answer, he thought about how long it took him to learn the braille, even though he still couldn't read a book with it, he could get by in his daily life with what he learned. He wondered about how easy it was for Parker to adjust to his new life, and why it had been so hard for himself.

Pulling him from his thoughts, Parker asked "Which door is hers dad?" as they stepped off the elevator.

"To the left 408." Booth answered him, his little hand still in his.

"Can I knock daddy?" Parker asked excitedly.

"Yeah, you have to knock loud though so she can hear you." Booth said his hands on Parkers shoulders as he knocked.

As they waited, Booth could feel Parker fidgeting, either with his t-shirt or something in his hands and as much as it got on his nerves, he knew his son had to be nervous about tomorrow as well and he let it go.

She heard the knock on her door, and wondered who it would be, Ange and Hodgins had dinner plans, and her father was out of town, maybe it was Jared, coming to apologize, she thought as she moved to look out the peephole. She was surprised to see the dark glasses almost in front of her, his smile small but hopeful.

"Booth, what are you doing here, I thought I was meeting you...Parker..." She said, after opening the door and seeing the mini version of him too.

"We thought you might want to come to the diner with us Bones." Booth said his voice soft and full of nerves.

"Yeah Bones... we were hungry and the diner is better than pizza, come on Bones." Parker said squirming out of his father's hands and tugged at her arm.

"Parker don't hang on her..." Booth said, knowing how eager his son was.

"I'll come with you, but can I meet you there?" She said, not wanting to be stuck with Jared later.

"Sure Bones. Jared is waiting downstairs for us, you won't be too long will you, we have to be done by quarter of seven." Booth said trailing off a little, grabbing for Parker.

"Don't worry Booth, I'll be right behind you." She said smiling at Parker.

"See you soon Bones." Parker said, turning back towards the elevator without his father.

"Parker Booth, you better not get on that elevator without me." Booth said sternly, turning his head towards the sound of his son's shoes, then back at her. Reaching out for her hand, he took it in his and squeezed it tight then said, " Don't be long Bones." before letting go of her hand and turning to go after his son.

The contact with him made her stomach flip, and her heart race, the sound of his voice soothing her nervousness. She wanted to lean in and kiss him again, what was it about him that made her go so crazy. She watched as they boarded the elevator, hand in hand, the once strong man, still unsure of his steps, paired with those of his sons jittery child size ones. The doors closed with Parker waving at her, his little smile burning into her memory. She slowly turned, moving to grab her bag and head out after them, yet something caught her eye on a shelf across the room. Letting the door close behind her she walked to the object, the small pig that occupied a small piece of real estate in front of her books. She closed her eyes, and held Jasper in her hands, running her fingers over the plastic, trying to feel what he would feel. Only frustration filled her mind as she set the pig back on the shelf, picked up her bag and left. With every ounce of her being she was trying to fight the rational side of herself that was reminding her that tomorrow may not be a cure-all. She wanted him to get better, despite the facts that were spinning in her mind. Her whole drive to the diner, she tried to turn off the part of her brain that rationalized everything, but it wasn't working. Not until she saw him opening Parker's straw did it click with her that maybe things would still work out if he didn't get his sight back, maybe he could work through it.

"Bones?" he asked as she passed him to sit across from him, every time she'd enter a room he'd been in, he knew. He didn't know how he knew, but he did, he could feel her close to him.

"It really is amazing how your other senses have taken over Booth. Hey Parker." She said, a little self conscious of his awareness of her.

"Hey Bones. Daddy said I can get a sundae if I eat all my dinner!" Parker joyously told her.

"Do I get a milkshake if I finish mine?" She said jokingly.

"Only if I get the overflow, I mean I know you can never finish it." Booth said, grinning from ear to ear at how well he knew her.

"Uncle Jared what are you going to get for desert?" Parker asked Jared, who felt as though he was chaperoning a high school date.

"Maybe I'll eat your dad's pie, since he's gonna share a shake with Tem-...Bones." Jared said laughing.

"Did you decide what your getting little man?" Booth asked him.

"Yeah, nuggets and fries, what are you getting daddy?" Parker asked, keeping his eyes on Bones.

"Burger and fries, like always." Booth said, his hand moving slowly across the table towards her.

"What'll it be guys?" The waitress asked cheerfully.

After they ordered and his hand was still on it's own, he moved to pull it back, stunned when she stopped him. Her gentle fingers intertwining with his was more than he'd expected, and it was driving him crazy that he couldn't see her face.

"Are you scared Daddy?" Parker blurted out, ending the silence at their table.

"Just nervous bud. Why are you scared?" Booth asked him softly.

"No, I just want it to work. Mom says that if it does I'll be able to stay with you again. Is that true?" Parker questioned.

"Listen little man, even if it doesn't work you'll be able to stay with me. I'll make sure that happens okay." Booth said, his heart sinking at the thought of it not working.

"Seeley, what's the first thing your gonna wanna see when you get your sight back?" Jared asked.

"There's a few things I can think of, but we'll wait and see what happens." Booth answered, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"Parker did you have a good day at school?" Bones asked the littlest Booth as he tried to get a rolled up straw paper into his uncle's drink.

"It was boring...but yesterday I made a cool art thing for daddy. Maybe he'll show you someday Bones." Parker said happily.

Their meal went quickly and easily, the four of them oddly at ease with each other. Even though in his mind, he was flailing, his every trick before, the subtlety of little looks here and there was gone, his crystal ball to knowing her was gone. He was struggling, not sure of where they stood, even with the hand holding. He prayed silently that soon things would go back to normal, or even close to normal, because if he had to live his life in the dark for much longer, he would not be able to handle it.


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the long, long delay, RL got so overwhelmingly in the way, zapping all my creative juices... there will be more to this story than this short chapter, but it may come slower than I originally hoped. Bear with me, and enjoy. I don't own them._

I could smell her perfume, the shampoo in her hair, I could hear my son's childlike snoring next to me, overpowering the tv, but the darkness still surrounded me, five days after surgery. Originally today was the day to remove the bandages, but my doctor frustratingly insisted that to be on the safe side we would wait another day. Obviously she had never been in my place, the waiting was driving me mad, even with Bones and Parker here everyday keeping me entertained, I was ready. Either there was going to be something there, or there wasn't, and whichever way it went, I was ready for the outcome, I needed to know what the rest of my life would be like.

"Booth, maybe we should wake him up, Rebecca will be here any minute..." Bones said softly, interrupting the silence.

"He must be dreaming Bones, I can feel him moving around, wonder what it's about, his dream ya know?" I asked, still so that I could feel his small movements.

"He's moving his hand up and down... sports maybe?" Bones asked.

"Probably basketball... Parker, Parks, hey little man, mom's gonna be here in a little while, I need you to wake up now bub." I said softly at first then getting louder as I felt him stretch beside me.

"I don't wanna go daddy... can't I just stay with you?" He whined.

"You can't stay in the hospital Parker, you know that. But I promise the first weekend I'm home, me and you, we'll go see the Caps, and you can stay the whole weekend, okay?" I said, promising him something I wasn't sure was possible yet.

"But I wanna stay now..." He nearly cried.

"Mom's not gonna like it if she comes in here and your a bear, you know that Parks, she'll ground you like last time. Remember? You didn't have your DS for two weeks... she won't put up with you being difficult. I wish you could stay, I do. I'm sorry little man..." I said, the knife twisting in my heart at his pleas, as I heard Rebecca's footsteps in the hall.

"Hey Parker, you almost ready to go?" She said from the doorway.

"Hi Beccs, he just woke up, he zonked out for a good hour. Give him a few minutes to grab all his stuff." I offered, trying to give him time to calm down.

"Temperance, how is work going?" Rebecca asked Bones, as Parker jumped down off the bed.

"It's slow right now, I've been working on older remains for the better part of a month now. Oh, Parker don't forget your school bag." Bones answered.

"Thanks Bones." Parker mumbled angrily.

"Come here Parker." I said waiting for him to climb back up. "What I said before, about the caps? I meant it, the whole weekend, and the game. But you have to be good for mom too. I know this isn't always a fun time when you come over, but I promise it will get better... I love you little man..."

"I love you too daddy. I just miss you, ya know... but I'll try to be good. See ya later gator..." He said, his arms wrapping around me before he was off the bed.

"Bye Bones...see ya next time." he added sadly.

"Try to get some rest Temperance, you too Seeley. You both look exhausted. I'll call tomorrow about bringing him by." Rebecca said as she lead Parker out of the room.

Neither of us said a word for a long time, it always got to me when Parker left, even before I got hurt, and she knew it was a sensitive subject. But I listened to her breathing until I couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Bones, you can go if you want, I mean I'm fine here... you don't need to babysit me every night. I can manage." I said quickly.

"I want to be here Booth. If I didn't I would be at the lab or at home." She said her voice irritated.

Despite her words, I couldn't help but let myself drown further in self pity. I hated being away from my son, and I was getting tired of the darkness. I was tired of hearing her say that she wanted to be here, I wanted to see her eyes, I couldn't know for sure that she meant it without looking into those clear blue pools.

"You're too quiet..." She finally said softly, her hand covering mine.

"Does it matter Bones?" I spit at her, "It's not like we have much to talk about."

"That's not true Booth. There are a lot of things that you could talk with me about." She said.

"Like what Bones, my day? My busy schedule? How about my time as a sniper?" I yelled.

"I don't presume to know what this is like for you, Booth, but you don't need to yell at me. You have tried this once already, and you know where that led, would you like to try again?" She shot back at me, her words cutting through me.

"No." I answered, sighing. "I'm frustrated Bones... as much as I try to be strong through all of this, I manage to lose what little control I have and immediately try to fight with you... I'm sorry."

"Booth...I...I know you're scared, and you feel like your life is spinning out of control...but what I don't understand is why you try to hide that from me. I know I haven't given you much of a reason to let me in, but I want to be here for you, if you'll let me." she said, her voice vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, Bones. I feel like I've been lying to you ever since this happened..." I said turning my body towards hers... "I told you that I'd always be there, that I'd never let you fall, and yet here I am, barely able to take care of myself... let alone you or Parker. It's like everything I ever had that was good in my life is slowly fading away. I know Rebecca is getting tired of the new arrangement, and you and me, I don't know where we're going."

"Why do we have to go anywhere Seeley? Just because you can't see it right in front of you doesn't mean it's not there... doesn't mean I'm not here..." She trailed off as a nurse came in.

"Mr. Booth, how are you doing this evening? Looks like everything is normal, BP's a little high, but other than that I don't think I'll see you again until the morning, Mrs. Booth, you only have another half hour till visiting hours are over..." She said cheerfully.

"I... um... yes thank you." Bones answered, but didn't follow through with correcting her.

"You called me Seeley... you didn't correct that nurse when she thought you were my wife, are you feeling okay Bones?" I asked her slightly confused.

"I'm fine, a little tired but healthy none the less, I just didn't feel like clarifying the fact that I am not your wife." She answered.

"Maybe you like the idea of being something more than partners Bones, did you ever think of that? Maybe what happened a week ago on my couch wasn't just a fluke... that's something we could talk about..." I tried, desperately wanting to know what it meant.

"It wasn't a fluke Booth, I've wanted that for some time now. But I'm scared that you're still pushing me away and it was all for nothing." she said quietly.

"Bones... I don't want you to be stuck with someone who can't protect you, can't provide for you, like this I can't even do those things for myself... I've dreamed of a day where we were more than partners for so long, and now, it's here, but it wasn't supposed to be like this. Not like this." I said, turning away from her.

She was quiet for some time before I felt the bed move, and felt her warm body next to mine. Her hand turning my face to hers, and her lips finding mine, as she passionately kissed me. "Bones, what..." I tried, but couldn't pull away long enough to finish the sentence. I wanted to ask her why now, what changed, but I just couldn't force myself to stop what I'd wanted for so long.

"Booth, visiting hours are over..." She said finally pulling away from me some.

"They won't know, don't leave Bones... not yet." I pleaded with her, I wasn't ready to part with her yet.

"I'll stay a little longer..." she said, nuzzling her face into my neck, her hand on my chest as she got comfortable lying beside me, my arms around her.

I don't know what time it was when I woke up to find her gone, the bed no longer warm beside me, her scent just barely there. The short time she'd been beside me was the most I felt like myself since the explosion, and her absence made me even more aware of just how much I needed her in my life. The rest of the night I spent tossing and turning, wondering what the outcome would be tomorrow.

_Booth's hospital room June 26th_

"Seeley we're going to remove the bandages slowly, the room will be dark and I ask that you please try to keep your eyes closed until I instruct you to open them. Your eyes have been through a significant trauma from the surgery and will need time to adjust. There will be some stinging as I clean the area around your eyes as well. Are you ready?" Dr. Hypond asked, her hand on my arm.

"The suspense is killing me Doc. Let's get the show on the road." I answered, so nervous I was nearly shaking, as I listened to Bones and Jared shuffling around behind the doctor.

"Tempe can you get the lights for me? Okay Seeley here we go." She said as I felt her hands on my face as a nurse cut through the bandages.

There was a bit of relief to having the gauze removed, but as I waited for the pads over my eyes to be removed my stomach started turning as fear of not regaining my sight took over me. As the doctor flushed my eyes I waited, wanting so badly to open them, yet so terrified to try.

"Seeley, slowly open your eyes, don't be alarmed if at first you don't see anything, it's common for your sight to return gradually..." She said, moving back from me some.

I waited for a splash of color, anything other than black, and when nothing changed I wanted to scream, it didn't work I thought, squeezing my eyes shut hard, the urge to hit something flaring up in my gut.

"Booth, try again..." I heard Bones say softly.

"Seeley we talked about this, it can be gradual. You need to try again." Dr. Hypond added.


	6. Chapter 6

Devastation- to lay waste completely. Even that word couldn't compare to what was going through my mind the countless times I'd opened my eyes since the bandages were removed, only to stare into the darkness. I knew that Dr. Hypond was talking, as were Bones and Jared, but aside from nodding my head a few times, I wasn't paying any attention. It didn't work, the surgery was unsuccessful, despite my prayers.

"Seeley? Have you heard a word I've said?" Dr. Hypond asked.

"Booth?" I heard Bones getting closer.

"It's fine, I'm fine. When can I get out of here doc?" I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I'd like to run a few tests before we release you, but I think tomorrow you'll be free to go. Seeley, I do believe that in time you'll gain some of your sight back, it can happen gradually as we discussed before the surgery. Don't give up just yet." the doctor answered.

"Sure Doc. Thanks for trying, but I'm not gonna hold my breath." I said.

I continued to answer them as I drew deeper into my own head, wondering how I would live my life like this. Up until this point I'd banked on getting at least something back from this surgery, not believing that this was permanent. Maybe it was karma, the universe's way of punishing me for all the things I'd done as a sniper, the lives I'd taken.

"Booth, please talk to me..." I finally heard Bones say as I felt her hand on my arm.

"Bones, I'm fine. Really. I wasn't counting on this working anyways. I just want to go home Bones, so that I can try and figure out what my options are. I'm pretty sure my time with the FBI is quickly coming to an end." I said, pulling my arm from her hand, not in the mood for pity.

"I'm sure there is a way that you could continue with the FBI. Just because you can't be in the field doesn't mean that your skills as an investigator aren't useful Booth..." she said before I could put an end to this conversation.

"Bones, don't. Just...not now." I said through gritted teeth. I wasn't ready to talk about this, let alone with her and Jared. "I need some rest guys, I didn't sleep well last night...could you come back later?"

"Seel, I know when you're lying. You are going to have to talk about this sooner or later, you know that right?" Jared asked, finally speaking up.

"Please just go, you too Bones. I have a lot on my mind and I need some space. Please." I said trying to keep myself from screaming it.

"I have some remains that need finished, but I'll be back this evening. Do you want me to bring anything?" Bones asked.

"No...." I didn't even try to argue with her, it would be pointless trying to tell her not to come.

The minute the door closed I leaned back against the pillows, realizing that even though I thought I was ready to know the outcome of my surgery, I wasn't. I wasn't ready to face a life where I would never look into her eyes again, or see my son's smile. I was never aware just how much of my life I'd taken for granted until the minute I opened my eyes to the darkness. As I lay there I thought about many things, looking down the scope at a target, the way her eyes lit up as she sang at open mic night, the day Parker was born. All those memories and thousands more swam hauntingly around in my head, the good, the bad, it didn't matter I couldn't get them to stop, even as I drifted off to sleep, they bombarded me in my dreams. I woke up tangled in the blanket, with a jolt so powerful the whole bed shook. I was covered in sweat as I thrashed about, but I could feel her hand in mine, pulling me back to the waking world.

"Booth...it was just a dream. Booth..." She said, her voice conveying her worry.

"What...I...Bones..." I stumbled for something to say.

"It's okay, you were dreaming. I'm here Booth." She kept repeating to me even as I pulled my hand away.

As much as I wanted her comfort, I didn't want her to see me like this. I wasn't supposed to be broken like this, I was supposed to be the one who comforted her, took care of her.

"What time is it Bones?" I asked not sure how long I'd been asleep.

"A quarter of ten. I've been here for almost an hour, at first I didn't want to wake you, but then you started to become agitated. What were you dreaming about Booth?" She asked me as I felt her weight on the bed beside me.

"Nothing important. Did you finish with the remains you were working on?" I questioned her, hoping that it would distract her from the topic of my nightmares.

"Yes, Ange provided an excellent rendering as well. We worked a little bit later than I would have liked but it's complete now." She answered as she pressed her shoulder to mine.

All the time I'd wished for this closeness with her, and here I was not sure if I could handle it. I let out a sigh, turning my body slightly towards hers unable to resist, and gently reached for her face. Placing my thumb lightly on her cheek, I then let my fingers trace the bridge of her nose, the shape of her lips, her jawline, as I pictured her face in my mind, until finally I brought her face closer to mine.

"Bones, I'm not ready to live the rest of my life without seeing your face..." I whispered, before I kissed her.

She didn't leave that night until almost 2a.m. Spending that time just holding her in my arms was better medicine than anything I could have asked for. I awoke the next morning ready to go home, ready to figure out how I was going to return to as close to normal as I could.

_October 1st, 2010 Hoover Building _

"I find it hard to believe that you didn't hear anything... I mean all that noise coming from the alley as you closed up the kitchen, just a wall between you and where we found Ms. Salan's remains." I asked my fingers flying over the copy of his statement inside the folder.

I could hear him fidgeting in the seat across from me, his fingers nervously tapping on the table, the way he shifted his body. "I swear I didn't hear anything man, the dishwasher was running through it's last cycle, and I was filling the sugars and salts. Maybe I zoned out..." Walter said again matching his original statement.

"The state of Ms. Salan's remains suggests that she was shot three times before she died, at close range. There's no way you didn't hear the gunshots Walter. Martin was in the dining room and he heard them. There's something you're not telling me." I said, waiting for him to slip up.

A month after returning to the interrogation room, and I still didn't have the upper hand that I had before, I couldn't read their body language, I had to go on the tone of voice, or sounds of nervousness now. It was hard to be as intimidating too, sure I could walk into the room, and the suspect wouldn't have a clue about my blindness, until I sat down, dark glasses still hiding eyes that didn't see a speck of light, or when I felt around the table as I got up... little clues that I was impaired.

"Agent Booth, I'm telling you everything I know, it was a year ago, it's not like I knew I was going to have to remember every detail about that night. I want a lawyer." Walter blurted out.

"Fine..." I spit at him, closing the file in front of me, then feeling for the edge of the table so I could storm out.

"Agent Booth?... You really are blind aren't you?" He laughed as I slammed the door, running straight into someone.

"I'm sorry... I ...sorry." I sputtered out.

"Agent Booth, I was just coming to tell you that there is a visitor in your office." Mike informed me.

"Thanks Mike, sorry again for almost running you over." I said, wondering if it was her in my office.

I tried not to let the excitement creep into my mind as I slowly made my way back to my office after I left Sweets in the monitoring room. I hadn't seen her in almost two weeks and it was two weeks too long. She left for India to identify remains, and we hadn't parted on good terms. As well I as was at pretending that not being in the field didn't bother me, Bones could see right through me. We'd been fighting for a while before the opportunity to go came up, and when it did, she barely hesitated in saying yes. I missed the smell of her shampoo in my apartment, and I missed the way knew me so well. More than that I missed the way her body fit so perfectly with mine, the comfort of her kisses, or the way only she could make me feel for a moment that I wasn't broken. Nothing was right without her.

"Booth, jeez I've been waiting for almost twenty minutes." Hodgins said jokingly.

"Hey Hodgins, what's up?" I asked, masking the disappointment.

"We haven't seen you around since Brennan left for India, Angie is getting worried man. She's convinced that you're hiding out." Jack said honestly.

"No, why would I be hiding out... I'm still working out the kinks Jack, that's all. You can tell her that I'm fine. No need to worry." I said, knowing that I was only treading water.

"Sure, I mean you look fine, you're acting like you're fine, but man, you can't fool us. We know you too well Booth. What happened before she left?" He asked as I fidgeted with the pen on my desk.

"Hodgins, I don't have time to do this with you now. Do you see all these files here, they all need reviewed, and I have three transcripts to review from my current cases. It's not as easy as it looks, it takes me twice the time to do all this than it did before." I said my jaw tightening.

"Alright, but listen, we're all going to the founding fathers tonight, you should meet us there. I mean it Booth, we all miss you." Hodgins said, as I heard him stand to leave.

"If I can get through some of this, I will. But I won't get anything done if you don't get out of here." I said.

I waited till the door to my office closed and then I removed my sunglasses, pinched the bridge of my nose and placed the glasses back on my face. When the computer told me it was five thirty I sighed, having only gotten through half of the stack of files I was reviewing, and one transcript, I was tired. I called for a car to take me home and gathered my jacket and cane before heading out of my office. Just before getting in the car my phone rang, it was Angela, and I almost didn't answer, but just before voicemail picked up I gave in and said hello.

"Booth, I know you're not going straight home, you are meeting us at the founding fathers right?" She said, more of a statement than a question.

"Listen Ange, I'm tired, I've had a very long day and I just want to go home and relax, I don't feel like being therapized tonight." I answered back as I closed the car door.

"I promise we won't therapize you, just come have a few drinks with your friends. Please." She whined.

"Fine, one drink. I'll see you soon Ange." I said, loosening my tie, wondering when I became so gullible.

My phone rang again as I was walking into the bar, this time it was Parker, so I stayed outside.

"Hey little man!" I said happy to hear his voice.

"I hate mom. She is sooo mean daddy!" he almost screamed into the phone.

"Parker, don't talk about your mother like that. Put her on the phone please." I said, as much as I don't agree with rebecca from time to time, I knew my son needed to respect her.

"Seeley, I am not being unreasonable here. You won't believe what he did at school today. Honestly, I don't believe it myself. I've just gotten home from the meeting with his principal." She rambled, not telling me what it was that he actually did.

"Beccs, what did he do?" I asked once she'd finished.

"First he was in a fight, then he threatened the little boy. After that he kicked the teacher that separated them. Seeley they are talking about expelling him, right now he's suspended... he's only in second grade!!" She squealed at me.

"Rebecca, I understand that you are upset, and angry with him, but he's a little boy and little boys fight sometimes and sometimes they don't act how we want them to act. We need to come up with the proper punishment and I'll definitely sit down and talk with him about why what he did was wrong. As for the school, the only thing we can do is wait it out until they make their decision. How long is he suspended for?" I tried to reason with her.

"Five days. And it's out of school, what if he gets suspended? This is the only elementary close enough to our house Seeley..." She said.

"We'll figure it out when we come to that point Beccs. I can take a few days off but that's it, I can't do the whole five days. Can we split it up?" I asked.

"Can Temperance watch him the other days? I'm in the middle of a trial, there is no way I can take time right now." She said, unaware of Bone's trip.

"Uh, she's out of town. I'll figure something out Rebecca, when are you dropping him off, and when do we need to meet with the school again?" I asked, still standing outside the founding fathers.

"Oh, when does she get back Seel? Is Jared going to be around?" She asked me nervously

"Listen Rebecca, we will be fine. I've had him on the weekends with no problems. I don't get why you're still worried. I'm blind Beccs not incompetent!" I said getting angry.

"I'm sorry Seeley, I just know how much of a handful he can be sometimes... I'll bring him by in the morning on my way into work, and the next meeting is on friday at three." she said.

"Okay put him on the phone before I hang up please..." I said waiting for him to come on. "Parker listen buddy, we are going to have a nice long talk tomorrow when you get here okay. And you need to respect your mother. She isn't being mean, she's being a good mom, I wouldn't be letting you play xbox either."

"But dad..." He whined.

"No buts, Uncle Jared is going to disconnect the playstation at my place too. And no DS either. Don't even bring it with you. You'll have plenty of work to make up for missing so many days. I love you little man, I'll see you in the morning." I said before we hung up.

Before I joined my friends I called in to the bureau to let them know I'd be taking the rest of the week off so that I could be with my son. I stood for a moment imagining what the next few days would hold, lots of homework for Parker and lots of worrying for me. Sure I told Rebecca I could handle it, but I still had doubts of my own. She was right, since the explosion I hadn't spent more than a few hours alone with Parker at a time, either Bones or Jared had always been there. I heard familiar footsteps getting closer to me, Angela was approaching.

"Booth, what are you doing out here? I'm running behind, but everyone else should be in there already." She said, placing her hand on my forearm, to lead me in.

"Have you talked to her Ange?" I asked, desperate to know when she was returning.

"Yeah sweetie, I talked to her yesterday..." She said her voice sad. "She hasn't called you?"

"No. We didn't really leave things good between us before she left. Did she tell you when she's coming back?" I asked as we entered the building.

"She gets in on wednesday... Hey guys sorry it took me so long to finish up, but I had to send the final sketch to Brennan." Angela said, placing my hand on a chair so I could sit down.

"Booth. It's been too long since we all met up for drinks, where have you been hiding?" Cam asked.

"It's only been a few weeks and I've been kinda busy with work..." I answered, thinking how it felt good to be missed.

Three drinks later, Angela was not far from my side where she'd been all evening, reminding me how lonely I would be once I got home. Even after two weeks, I wasn't used to being alone at night anymore. I was used to evenings in with Bones, nights with her body pressed to mine, and mornings filled with new beginnings, without her I was slowly spiraling back to depression. I'd rather have the fighting than nothing at all.


	7. Chapter 7

_**I'm kind of at a road block with this story... I know where I want it to go, I'm just having trouble getting it there. I don't want to post garbage, so I'm taking my time getting from here to where I wanted to be with it. Once I get past the next two chapters, it's going to get really good!**_

_September 3rd, Booth's Apartment_

"_What's happening to you Booth? I can't be with you if you don't let me in!" she yelled as I stormed down the hallway to the bedroom._

_"I don't know what you want from me Bones. I'm trying here, I really am...I'm back at work, we hang out with the squints, what else do you want from me? It's not like this has been easy for me Bones. You don't know what this is like, you never let me forget that..." I screamed back at her. "Fuck, damnit Bones! You can't leave your bag anywhere you want..." I screamed again as I landed on my hands and knees, having tripped over her overnight bag._

"_I thought I'd be in there before you, I'm sorry Booth..." She tried explaining from the doorway to the bedroom._

"_Yeah well, you weren't..." I seethed getting back to my feet, turning towards the sound of her voice. "It's not supposed to be like this Bones, it shouldn't be this hard." _

"_What shouldn't be this hard?" She asked softly._

"_This, us, whatever this is becoming... I wanted this more than anything, well almost anything, but I can't seem to make it work, I don't know who I am anymore, but this person, this guy having this conversation with you, this guy who picks fights with you, it's not me Bones. The Seeley Booth you knew may have never left that ship..." I said sadly._

"_I don't know what that means. You're right here in front of me Booth. You're still adjusting to your new limitations, I know that, I knew that going into this relationship. Maybe I push you too hard." she said._

"_Maybe you do... but if it weren't for your constant encouragement I would never have gone back to work, I wouldn't be as far as I am now. But maybe I'm not ready to be this far, cause it feels like I'm living a lie." I said before I could filter my thoughts._

_October 1st, Founding Fathers_

I've replayed that particular argument so many times in my head, that was the boiling point for us, the night that I gave up on having a real relationship with her. I let my demons get the better of me, and now almost a month later, I wished that I could go back and change things.

"Booth, are you alright?" Angela asked me, pulling me out of the memory.

"Uh, yeah sure Ange. Just tired. I think I'm going to get out of here though..." I answered.

"Hodgins can take you, I think we're all about ready to go." She offered.

"I can get a cab Ange, it's okay." I tried as I pulled out a few bills from my wallet, dropping them on the table.

"I wouldn't hear of it... you're coming with me, no arguments." Hodgins said throwing his arm over my shoulder.

"Okay, okay..." I answered trying to shrug his arm off my shoulder.

As much as I missed being out with all of them, it wasn't the same without her there. I stayed quiet the whole ride to my apartment, listening to Angela and Jack talking about a case they were working on, one that was given to the field agent that replaced me. Sure I got to interrogate, and oversee the cases the brain trust were working, but the days of hanging out at the Jeffersonian were over. I did most of my work from my office, occasionally tagging along with Luke to help him understand the squints when he needed it. He was doing a good job, especially fitting in with them, something I didn't think would be possible for such a green agent with a lot to prove. Luke had only come to the agency right before my accident, but he showed a great deal of potential, which is why they put him on my team when I came back. When Bones first suggested I go back to the bureau I laughed it off, resigned to the fact that all I would be was a desk jockey, but Hacker informed me that while I would spend a good amount of time behind a desk, my skills would be more useful as a team leader. I had four agents that I was overseeing at any given time, Luke Grant being the only permanent member of my team, and the new liason to the Jeffersonian. It was Hacker's way of keeping me out of the field, yet allowing me to still work with the squints. The adjustment was rough for me, I wasn't used to having a go between, and I wasn't used to not getting my hands dirty. That was a big reason Bones and I weren't getting along, I took a lot of my frustrations out on her, but it was still no excuse for treating her the way I did.

"Booth, we're here." Jack said breaking me from my thoughts.

"Thanks Hodgins. We still on for the game tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Of course, I'll bring the pizza." he answered.

"Booth I'm sure she'll call you. Whatever happened...you'll work it out." Angela said as I got out of the car.

"I'm not so sure Ange. But thanks." I replied before I shut the door.

I counted the steps to the door, then took the stairs up to my apartment, the counting had become normal to me now and I did it without thinking. I wondered if Jared would be home or not as I unlocked the door listening for noises that would let me know. It was quiet as I walked through to the bedroom, loosening my tie and removing my jacket as I went. He must have been staying with the current girl of the week. I changed into sweats, pulled a beer from the fridge and parked myself on the couch, wishing more than anything that the phone would ring and it would be her on the other end.

"Seeley?" "Dad?" I heard getting closer as I was waking up.

"Beccs, Parker?" I called out, slowly sitting up, startled that I was still on the couch.

"Seeley, did you forget that I was bringing Parker by this morning?" Rebecca sounded annoyed.

"Morning little man. No Beccs, I must have fallen asleep before I set the alarm." I said as I shuffled into the kitchen.

"Daddy, are we gonna go see bones today?" Parker asked, throwing his arms around my waist.

"She's out of town bub, but we can still go see Angela or Jack, maybe he has some new bugs for you to look at." I answered, the pain in my heart growing worse.

"Seeley, Parker has all of his work for the next five days as well as the instructions on the punishment paper he is required to write. If you need anything just call, and Parker be good for Daddy, I'll see you in a few days, Love you." She said squeezing my arm before she left.

"Did you have breakfast Park?" I yelled into the living room, where he was flipping through channels.

"Yeah, mommy made me eat that square cereal again...she never buys cocoa puffs anymore." he whined.

"How about after I get dressed we go to the diner, then we'll stop and see Jack." I said after I chugged my coffee.

He mumbled something I guessed was "sure" as I passed by him on my way to shower and get dressed. When I walked back into the bedroom I could hear rustling around and I wondered what Parker was getting into.

"What are you doing in here little man?" I asked.

"How come all your clothes have those little pieces of stuff on them?" He asked quietly.

"Well... uh, I can't see to pick stuff out so Angela came over and put them on there so I don't look like a bum. See the black t-shirt with the cards on it is right here, and my favorite dark jeans are here, my striped socks are right here..." I said showing him every item as I pulled them out and tossed them on my bed.

"That's so cool..." He said, in awe.

"If you say so little man. Hey, listen can you make sure you have all of your stuff in your backpack for me? We'll have Jack look it over when we stop by the lab." I asked, pulling the t-shirt over my head.

"Yeah daddy. When is bones coming back?" he said quietly.

"She'll be back by the end of this week. But I don't know if she'll have a lot of time to spend with us this time, like she did last time. She's been gone for a while and she'll probably have lots of work to catch up on." I answered, wondering if she'd even want to see me at all.

I called for a cab and let parker tell the driver where we were going and pay him when he dropped us at the diner. We ordered and talked about football and what Parker had been doing in school while we waited on our breakfast. Every time I had my son up until this point we'd been surrounded by my friends, and colleagues, without them around I could feel the anxiety digging into my mind. The two minutes I waited while he went to the bathroom, the five seconds I couldn't feel him beside me as we walked to the Jeffersonian from the diner, it all had me panicked. It took everything in me not to hold his hand every second, but I couldn't do that to him, I needed to make everything as normal as I could, even if it caused me grief.

"Parker Booth, why aren't you at school?" I heard Angela ask as we got to her office.

"I got suspended Aunt Ange. But it's okay because now I get to hang out with dad." he answered nonchalantly.

"I don't even want to know what you did, but judging by that shiner I can only guess that you were fighting right?" She asked him, as I wondered what his little face looked like with a black eye.

"Yeah, John took Lainey's lunch box and wouldn't give it back, and then he started calling her names. He was being such a jerk, she's smaller than us and it wasn't nice. So I decked him." Parker said proudly.

"Angela is Jack around?" I asked, wanting to get the scoop on Parkers schoolwork before I completely lost him to distractions.

"Yeah he was working on the murder that Luke brought in this morning...I can watch the little guy for a while." She offered.

"Parker, listen to Angela, I won't be long." I said sternly over my shoulder as I turned out into the hall.

I listened as Parker and Angela's conversation turned from the fight to the new painting she put up and then I made my way over to Jack's space in the lab.

"Booth, did I see Parker running around?" He asked before I was even close to his desk.

"Yeah, suspended. Thought I told you about it last night, remember, I asked if you could give me a hand with his assignments..." I reminded him.

"Agent Booth, I thought you took the rest of the week off?" Luke asked from behind me.

"Yeah kid, my son is suspended and his mother can't take anymore time off the trial she's working. Heard you're keeping these guys busy." I said listening to his footsteps come around me.

"Yeah another murder like last week, same MO." he said questioningly.

"Hodgins did you find any connections in the particulates yet?" I asked.

"Still analyzing. I did however find two specific types of soil in the latest victim's shoes. One is a match for the soil found in the first and fourth victims clothing, so there is starting to be some kind of consistency, killer's getting sloppy." Jack spouted off.

"Agent Booth, I was wondering if I could pick your brain about a theory I have about the profile Dr. Sweets gave us... maybe tomorrow if you have a few minutes we could meet up and discuss it?" Luke asked.

"Sure kid, say noon tomorrow? Angela can probably take Parker for a while so we can meet. I'll let you know if anything changes." I suggested, not wanting my son around for that particular conversation.

Luke and Jack went over a few more details to the case while I waited for Jack to look over Parker's assignments, and I couldn't help but let my mind drift to the many times I'd stalked back and forth from her office to Jacks area, the hundreds of cases we worked, the conversations about sports he and I had to clear our heads when we got stumped. So many things everyday that I didn't think twice about losing until they were gone, or changed, haunted me everywhere I went now.

"Booth... Seel...you fall asleep on me over there or what man?" Jack's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Uh, no sorry I was just thinking about something I need to do later. Do you mind helping me and Parker with his stuff, I know you're busy, it's just that Jared is kinda hit or miss these days and I can't see what he has to do, or check it when he's done. Plus I know he likes it when you help him with his science stuff, so I just thought he'd fight doing it less if you helped him." I spewed, hating having to ask for help.

"No problemo. I can swing by early before the game starts and work with him for a little on what he has done so far, and then we can all catch the game together." Jack answered, always managing to avoid making things awkward.

"I miss her man..." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"She's coming back tomorrow Booth, and she can't avoid you forever. Maybe she just needed a break, you know more than anyone that she doesn't handle change as well as she lets on, and there have been a lot of changes lately... I bet she comes back and everything will be fine, you'll see." He offered.

"She was pretty pissed at me before she left man, I don't know. I may have ruined it..." I said honestly.

"Listen, you know her and Angie talk, and from what she tells me Brennan is more mad at herself than you. She feels like she pushed you too hard, that she didn't listen to you or let you figure all this out on your own schedule." He said quietly.

"What? Jack, she did everything right, it was me who was too stubborn to appreciate her efforts, I just blamed her for feeling like things were moving to fast, blamed her for feeling like things were out of control there for a while. She's the only thing that kept me going sometimes..." I admitted.

"Did you tell her that? Or did you let her go on thinking that she was pushing you too hard? I think the two of you just need to talk about things, get everything out in the open. Sometimes you have a tendency to put up this front that you're strong and nothing affects you, when in reality you just don't know how to deal with it, or you're afraid to admit you need help." Jack said.

"Yeah, surprise I do have a character flaw after all..." I laughed, "I just hope she's willing to listen."

"It's hard to tell with her man, sometimes she surprises you though. Even Angie has a hard time getting her to open up about things, but in the end she always does." Jack said eagerly.

"So you'll be by around five or so?" I asked a little weary.

"Is something else bothering you Booth?" he asked me.

"My anxiety is up a little I guess. Having Parker all week by myself, Bones coming back, it's got me all amped up man." I said feeling his hand come down on my shoulder.

"Listen you know that if you needed anything I could be at your place in just a few minutes, and Angie really likes spending time with Parker too. Don't worry G-man, I don't think you'll need us." he chuckled as I silently tried to reassure myself.

I listened to Angela and my son for a while before I went back into her office, their banter was so entertaining. He'd ask a whole mess of questions and without missing a beat she'd answer, even the tough ones.

"Angela are Daddy and Bones fighting?" I heard him ask.

"Listen Park, sometimes grown ups need some space. She really did go away for work, but she comes back tomorrow. Don't worry about her and your dad, there is nothing in this world that could keep them apart for long." Ange answered.

"But don't they work together anymore? I mean they always work together..." he questioned.

"Things are a little different now Parker. Your dad can't always go out in the field now, and sometimes she did things for other agencies, not just the FBI and he never went with her for those." She stated.

"Since he got hurt?" he asked, my heart felt like it was going to explode.

"Yeah but even before that little guy..." she told him, "I don't think you need to worry about him though, he's the strongest guy I know and even though things changed for a while, he'll be back to his old self soon."

"Will he be able to play hockey again Angie?" He asked out of the blue.

"I don't know Park, but maybe someday. He can still go to the games with you though right, and spend time with you, and do guy stuff with you. Just some things have changed, others will never change." she explained.

"Hey kiddo, you done bugging Angela yet?" I said noisily entering the room.

"Booth, uh, how long were you out there?" She asked nervously.

"Long enough Ange, long enough..." I answered moving as close as I could to her, "Thanks for that by the way. Sometimes I worry about how much he is affected by this. You answered questions he'd never ask me."

"Dad, can we pick Bones up from the airport tomorrow?" he asked.

"We'll see Parker." I answered as the knife in my heart twisted a little deeper.

After Parker finished some of his assignments and promised to work with Jack everyday till he got them done, we relaxed while the sounds of the game played in the background. Parker described the major plays to me, and I found myself enjoying his commentary more than the announcers. There was something about his perspective and excitement that made it one of the best games I'd ever experienced. In the bottom of the eighth, I heard foreigner coming from the kitchen where I'd left my phone. I rushed to answer it before it went to voicemail, but after ramming my shin into the coffee table I didn't make it in time. A few curses later I was listening to her message.

"Hey Booth. It's Tempe...Bones. I'm arriving tomorrow at 2:45pm, and I was hoping that we could talk, maybe you could meet me at the airport? So I'll try you again later, maybe you're still at work." she said shyly.

I listened to the message three more times before I closed my phone, the sound of her voice soothing my soul. Everything in me wanted to call her immediately and tell her that I would be there waiting as she stepped off the plane, but knowing her, I didn't want to overwhelm her. I needed to play my cards right if I wanted a chance to fix the mess I'd made.

"Daddy, you missed the end..." Parker called to me.

"Well you can tell me about then. Jack you want another one?" I asked before returning to the couch with two bottles of beer.

"Parker, you need to start getting ready for bed, and you can tell me about what I missed when I come in to say goodnight okay?" I said.

"But Dad..." He whined.

"No buts, this isn't a vacation bub, I already let you watch TV, I may be a pushover for some things but I'm not budging on this one. Head in and get a shower." I stated firmly.

Once Parker was out of the room I told Jack about Bones' message. "This is a good sign man. She didn't sound mad right?" He asked.

"No, but she sounded nervous." I said replaying the tone of her voice in my head.

"Nervous is better than mad, or upset. If you want I can take Parker after your meeting with Luke, that way you and her can have some time to work things out." He offered.

"He's so excited about hanging out with her though... Maybe we can meet up with you guys after we talk for a bit." I reasoned.

"You need to talk to her, and it will only be worse if you have Parker with you, you'll both be filtering what you really want to say to avoid bringing him into it." Jack said honestly.

"You're right man. When Parker goes to bed I'll call her and let her know that I'll be there." I said.

With Parker in bed, finally asleep, I settled into my bed to call her. It took me three times before I actually let the call connect I was so anxious to hear her voice again.

"Booth." She answered.

"Hey Bones, I got your message." I said.

"You'll be at the airport then?" She questioned.

"Yeah Bones, of course. Someone has to be there when you get in trouble for smuggling bones into the country." I joked.

"I'm not... oh. I get it." she paused, "Have you been okay while I've been gone?"

"Work's been keeping me busy, and Parker is with me for a week, he got suspended for fighting and Rebecca couldn't get any time off." I replied.

"I didn't mean that. I was meaning to call... I just needed to think..." she stammered.

"It's okay Bones. Really. But... I miss you. I'm sorry, I could have called you too." I sighed.

"We can talk about all of this tomorrow Booth, when I get in. You should get some sleep, it's after ten there right. I'll see you tomorrow..." She tried to hurry off the phone.

"Bones, wait, I just want to say that whatever it is we're going to talk about tomorrow, I just want you to know that, I've never been as happy in my life as when you are in it. I'd rather fight with you anyday than not have you in my life." I spat out quickly.

"Me too Booth...Goodnight." She said quickly before the line went dead.


	8. Chapter 8

As she watched him approaching the gate, her heart broke all over again. His walk once so confident and strong, now more of an unsure shuffle, pulling at her emotions. His strong shoulders getting closer as his right hand controlled the cane, back and forth, back and forth. She wanted to run to him, throw her arms around him, breathe in his scent, but she just stood there. She didn't know how she was going to tell him the news, or if she even wanted too. His world was already so upside down, he didn't need anything else to tear him up. Finally as he got closer she called his name.

"Booth..." she said nervously, watching a smile spread across his face.

"Bones?" He asked his left hand outstretched to find her.

"Did you find the gate okay? Where's Parker?" She asked, pulling him in for a quick hug.

"He's with Jack and Ange...I didn't have any trouble." He lied, he'd stopped three times for help.

"Oh. Good..." She stammered.

"Do you need to get your bags? I really missed you Bones..." He blurted as he reached for the small of her back with his free hand.

"Yes, I have two bags..." She said not reciprocating, but tensing at the feel of his hand on her.

"Bones, what's wrong?" he asked as her body tensed.

"I'm just tired from the flight...Let's go get my bags." She said.

He didn't force the issue, knowing that it sometimes made things worse with her, but the way she tensed when he touched her almost made him cry out it had hurt so badly. They walked, his hands around her arm to the baggage claim in silence until finally she blurted out "I uh... can you manage to lift this off for me?"

"Sure Bones. I can get it." He answered, lifting the bag from the trolley to the floor.

"I have the other one too." She said shyly, hoping he wouldn't question why she wasn't just lifting them herself.

"Since when do you let me do things for you?" He said only half teasing.

"Booth, I'm tired and sore from the flight is all."She answered nervously wringing her hands together, thankful for once, that he couldn't see to read her.

He cocked his head to the side, almost like he heard her thought, his face got serious "Well then we better get you home so you can rest." And he turned from her, "Lead the way Bones."

The cab ride to her apartment was filled with talk about the current case Luke was working with the squints and a few tidbits from her trip. The air was thick with tension as they exited and grew even more so as they boarded her elevator. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and she felt like all the air had been knocked out of her.

Finally as she unlocked the door and led him inside she stopped, letting him almost crash into her, "Booth..." she breathed out as she slid her arms around his waist her resolve breaking down.

"I'm here Bones, it's okay." He stroked her hair as she cried into his chest, "What's the matter, what happened?" he asked softly wrapping her in his arms.

"I... I... I just couldn't wait to feel your arms around me..." She finally got out, knowing that there was so much more to say.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Bones." he apologized, wishing he could change the way he acted before she left.

"Why? What do you have to be sorry for Seeley?" She asked pulling back some.

"I didn't love you the way I should have, I let you down. I wanted to be with you for years, and when I finally got you, I couldn't let myself be happy, even though I had everything I'd always wanted right in front of me." he breathed out.

"No. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard, I should have let you find your own pace, your own rhythms. At the first chance to bail on you I did. I shouldn't have left, I should have trusted that you could be right, and I didn't." she sobbed.

"Bones..." He said, his hands finding her cheeks.

He wiped the tears from her face and began leading them into the living room, counting the steps but not breaking his hold on her until they were seated. "Temperance, so many things went wrong before, this is a chance to start again..." he half asked half told her.

"Booth...I...I'm...I..." she stammered.

"Bones it's okay, we were both wrong, we're together now, shhh, I'm not going anywhere, I'll always be here for you." He whispered to her, soothing her.

They stayed in that position for a good while until they had to meet up with Parker and the squints. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him the news, hell, even she couldn't believe it. He knew there was something up with her, her body was still tense, like she was holding something back.

"Bones!" he heard his son's voice squeal as they approached the table in the diner.

"Parker, why aren't you in school young man." She asked taking him into her arms.

"I got in trouble..." He said sheepishly.

"It's okay Parky..." She eased him.

Next up for the hugs were Angela and Jack. After all the welcome home formalities were through, they sat down for their meal. She ate and laughed, and talked, but the information she had to tell him nagged at the back of her mind. At one point in the meal Angela had looked at her with a hint of curiosity, as though she knew something was up with her best friend.

I sat listening to them, my friends, my son, and the woman I loved, and I felt happy for the first time since she had gone away. Even though I knew she was still holding something back from me, it didn't matter, I was just thankful to have her here with me. I silently said a prayer as we all sat laughing and talking that I could make her happy, even with my limitations, that I could let myself stay happy. My thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ring indicating that it was Luke calling me.

"Booth." I answered.

"Hey Booth, I need your help." He said sounding tired.

"What's up, did you get a lead?" I asked, knowing that he was getting closer from our meeting this morning.

"I have a suspect... but I'd rather not interrogate him myself... I don't know if I'll be able to get anything out of him, I know you will." He answered.

"I can be there in a half hour, but your coming in there with me. I can't hold your hand forever kid." I joked.

"I know Booth, I know." he said slyly before hanging up.

"Ange, can you take Parker for a little while, I just need to run in and help Luke for an interrogation, it shouldn't take long?" I asked.

"Booth I can take him back to your apartment if you like, we can work on his homework..." Bones offered sounding unsure of herself.

"Uh, if you don't mind Bones. Parker you have to be good for Bones, listen and get your work done...no craziness..." I kidded him.

"Daddy, why would I get crazy, Bones is cool, I love her and I'll be very good for her." he said a hint of mischief in his voice.

I smiled my charm smile at her, hoping that would ease some of the tension in the air as I stood to leave. "Bones, you know the number if he gets out of hand, and his assignments are all outlined on the coffee table. Give your old man a hug." I added to Parker.

His little arms wrapped around me after I heard his chair slide away from the table. "Daddy can we watch a movie when you get home? With Bones?" he asked pulling away from me.

"We'll see." I answered turning towards the door.

Before I got in the car I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Booth, we all just got called in too. Ange is going to take Parker to Jack's, and we can pick him up later. I was asked to come to the hoover with you, I don't know what for, but we can ride together." she stated.

Of all the things that I learned after becoming blind, interrogation wasn't one of them, and it's the one thing that I kept her from seeing me do. As uncomfortable as I still am in that room with a suspect, I have to do it. I can't tell the bureau no. My mind was racing on our way into my office, where I kept an extra set of clothes for just this occasion. When I was finished changing, she straightened my tie, and I almost attacked her right then, her shampoo filling my nostrils as her delicate hands moved over my chest. She was so close to me, I could feel her breath on my face. "Bones" I breathed.

"It's not like I've never done that before Booth... I..." She said, refusing to finish her sentence.

"What were you going to say Bones...?" I asked her.

"I missed doing that... I didn't realize how happy doing something as simple as straightening your tie, made me. Booth..." She said before disappearing from my grip.

"What, I know there's something you're not telling me, did something happen while you were away, or is it because of the way I treated you...something is wrong Bones, I know it what aren't you telling me?" I said, feeling like I'd failed her all over again.

For a long while I waited for her to speak, to tell me what was going on, and every second was too long. If only I could see her, I'd know how to handle her... "Okay Bones, if you don't want to talk to me, then I need to go interrogate this jerk... will you be here when I get back?" I said kind of snappy.

When she didn't answer me, she just shifted in my chair I turned to leave. Just before I shut the door I heard her whisper "I'm pregnant..." it was more of a cry than a statement. I threw the door open, rushing to her, to be by her side.

"What you just said Bones, is it true? Is it mine?" I said finding it hard not to smile just a little.

"It's yours... I'm sorry... I know this is the worst timing to tell you but I couldn't keep it in any longer. I've not even told Angela yet." she whimpered.

"What are you sorry for Bones, this is the best news I've heard in months. We're going to have a baby..." I said happily, wondering why she was still crying.

"I'm not going to be a good mother Booth. I can't even take care of you..." She sobbed.

"Bones, Tempe, listen, you will be an excellent mother, and if it weren't for you I would be drunk on my couch right now... not back at work, I'd be without the only person I've ever truly loved." I tried to soothe her.

"I pushed you too hard, and now I feel like you resent me for it. What if you end up resenting the baby?" She said as I reached to pull her into me.

"I do not resent you, and I could never resent our child... I was stubborn and pigheaded, to worried about being the alpha male for you, to see that you were only doing what was best for me." I said slowly realizing that I may never see my child's face, a face that would bear both of our features.

"Go, interrogate your suspect Booth, I'll be here when you get done." She said calming a little as she pushed me towards the door.

"We are going to celebrate tonight...my girl comes home and we're pregnant all in one day... Bones I couldn't be any happier than I am right now." I said flashing her a thousand watt smile after I kissed her.

I know he was uncomfortable, I watched as he stopped before he entered the interrogation room, to gather his thoughts perhaps. I'd just dropped a huge bit of information on him, and yet he still loved me. I stayed quiet until he entered the room, then I continued on my way into the viewing room. I wanted to see that he was back, that he was really okay. Sweets was there, feeding into his earpiece, and he smiled at me when I entered.

"How's it going Sweets?" I asked as he clicked the mic off.

"Dr. Brennan, I didn't know you were back yet." He said getting up to hug me.

"Just got in this afternoon." I answered keeping it short, because I was trying to focus on Booth.

"He's really doing great Dr. Brennan. He has the occasional frustrations, but he's done really well adjusting to his limitations." Sweets added watching me watch Booth.

I stayed quiet, listening to him go through his round of questions, Luke interjecting here and there until finally Sweets piped in "Agent Booth, why don't you guys come out and take a break, Dr. Brennan might be able to give you some insight on what we just heard."

Booth's head whipped towards the window so fast, his expression full of fury. He then got up to leave, his strong hands gripping the table's edge as the suspect's smug smile grew into one of realization that the agent interrogating him was in fact blind. "Agent Booth, is it hard to do your job in total darkness?" he smirked.

"What?" Booth asked turning towards him as Luke went through the door, only the suspect had moved to his left, so silently that Booth didn't hear him.

"Is the FBI that desperate? A blind FBI agent, one who would obviously not carry a gun, who couldn't even get certified for one..." he trailed off, as he lunged at Booth, well past him to the door.

"Grant..." Booth mumbled as he turned toward the clicking door, no the suspect wasn't leaving he was locking the door.

"Agent Booth, it will take at least five minutes for them to get into this room. You don't think I'm that daft do you... I've played my part quite well don't you think? All you had to do was finish your interrogation and I'd have been on my way. But with that kid leaving you in here all alone, I've got the upper hand now. Pretty soon you'll be praying that you'd just finished what you started." he seethed.

Booth didn't say a word, just braced himself as Sweets and I watched in horror as the two men squared off. "Where's Luke?" I asked frantically.

I could hear the pounding on the door, as Booth stepped forward into the suspects punch. What was he doing, he should be able to tell where the guy is, I thought. Two more punches to Booth's face and his glasses were off and broken on the floor, his body swaying to the right. He was losing his bearings. With another hard hit to his temple Booth went down as the door was opened and the suspect pulled off of him. I ran to the room, to assess the damage done to his face and body.

I knelt down, gently running my hand over his cheek, that was already turning purple, "Bones...argh." he growled, moving to sit up.

"Stay down Booth, you're going to need to get checked." I said gently trying to push him back to the floor.

"What happened? How did that just happen..." He said angrily.

"Booth, I don't know the door should have opened from the outside, I couldn't get in...I'm sorry." Luke blurted out.

"Let me up Bones." Booth said forcefully, pushing against my hands.

Agent Grant, Sweets and I watched as he stood, only to teeter back and forth until I steadied him with my body. "Booth sit, please..." I begged, watching the anger flash across his face.

"I'm fine Bones...where are my glasses?" He asked blankly.

"Booth, you are not fine, you may require stitches." I said reaching for his face before he grabbed my hand and pushed it aside, turning from me.

"Agent Booth, sit down." Hacker said firmly, placing his hand on Booth's shoulder. "The medics are on their way, what happened?"

"We were stepping out, I thought agent Booth was right behind me, next thing I knew the door was closed and he wasn't with me, I turned to open the door and it was jammed, or locked, I don't know..." Luke stated.

"He goaded me, and then got past me to the door, I heard him lock it, and then I... I lost track of him, I lost my bearings, and he came after me." Booth explained, reaching up to his face and wincing.

"I'm having the team come up to look at the lock. Booth, I expect you to do as the medics say when they get here...by the look of your face he got in a few good shots...I'll be reviewing the tape in my office and I'll see you tomorrow. Temperance it's good to see you." Hacker said before he turned to leave.

When the medics arrived, they insisted that Booth be taken to the hospital, even though he insisted he was fine.

"Agent Booth, please just lie down, we could get fired if we pull up and you're just hanging out in the back of the ambulance." The paramedic instructed as we pulled away.

"I really don't need to go by ambulance, Bones this is outrageous." he hissed in my direction.

"Booth you heard Hacker, and besides the gash on your temple is not going to heal unless you get it taken care of." I told him.

"She's right ya know." The paramedic said.

Three hours later in the cab back to Hodgins house, we were both quiet, as we had been the whole time we were at the hospital. I didn't know what to say to ease him after his tussle, and his pride was getting in the way.

"Maybe I should just head home after we pick up Parker..." I finally said.

"If...if that's what you want Bones..." He said, no expression on his face.

"It's not what I want, I want to be with you and Parker, but Booth, I can't read your mind... I can't guess what you are feeling. I thought we'd were starting over...that we would express our feelings this time around, as apposed to holding it all inside." I stated blankly, fighting back tears.

"What do you want me to say Bones? That I enjoyed getting my ass handed to me in there, that it was a ball of laughs to have you watching as it happened? Sure I'm bruised on the outside, but inside, I'm tight, I'm full of rage and hurt, I'm embarrassed Bones." He said, his voice ending at nearly a whisper.

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" I asked, because in reality I didn't know how he felt.

"I don't know, maybe just not talking about it will let it fade away, or maybe talking about it tomorrow. I just think about how I can't protect you or Parker or our Baby like this..." He said, placing his hand on my abdomen.

"I feel differently about that, I believe that if it came to us, you'd be quite capable of defending us. This, what happened today, was a fluke. Instead of depending on yourself, you let yourself be lead by Agent Grant. Your still adjusting, and that's okay." I tried.

"Maybe this time you're right Bones." He conceded.

"I am smarter than you..." I answered without thinking.

"Bones! Way to kick a guy when he's down." He replied.

"I don't know what that means..." I said puzzled.

"It just means that here I am feeling bad and you tell me you're smarter... You could have phrased it differently is all." He answered, entwining his fingers with mine.

"I'm sorry Booth. I didn't mean it like that." I said.

"It's okay Bones, I know what you meant." he said, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles. "We're having a baby..." he whispered, turning to me with the biggest charm smile.


End file.
